When the stars have all gone out, you'll still be burning so bright.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I did a double post. o.o Can't be bothered to delete it.

Feeling listless and restless. XP But I need to do my homework. Yet why am I blogging...?

Because I feel like I cannot work anymore.

Argh.

Run away....

I sometimes wonder what happened to all that melodrama. O.O It chilled off, I guess. Perhaps it just went "bye bye!" and slammed the door in my face. Well. I'm better off without it.

Eh. I'm crazy.

Scouting for a new blogskin for... Shh. Cannot tell. You'll know in due time.

If I ever tell it at all.

Which I won't, I'm that lazy.

Ha. Ha.

I love the korean serial my lovely samsoon. <33 It's really sweet and funny. XD So much drama! I suppose all serials are like that. Otherwise, no one would like to watch 'em.

-SnowWings-

Nah, just a title.

Munching on grapes, though I'm really full from the soup I had for dinner.

Can't help it. I have to eat those grapes.

Everyone has to.

Dozed off for a bit in my room just now...for some weird reason...

And yeah. I cut my hair.

Though there isn't much of a difference.

This post is full of paras. O.O Whoa.

Never mind 'em. Can't care less.

That's me. (:

`It's Rayneing~

Where dreams were made; 8:13 PM

Where dreams were made; 2:43 PM

I wonder how anybody can stay happy the whole day long. Gracey is a very good example. The worst is me.

Really, really long for something...which I don't know what. Ahhh...I guess I just need something to take the boredom off.

Though it's not like my life's been uneventful for the past month or so. (:

September is coming....and August is drawing to an end. Yet I can't help thinking about you...If you can read this, you'd know that I'm referring to you. Aishiteru~

I am trying to do some homework, but a CERTAIN -ahem, ahem- theme song keeps replaying in my head. It's a nice song, not like "Bob the Builder" tune that kept running annoyingly through my head for the whole of Needlework class.

Law of Attraction.

Hmm.

I wonder if it works.

Anyway, I feel like doing some kind of drawing, but my scenery SUCKS. Big time. I can't draw 'em for nuts. ><

Random Quiz. Really popular these days. I wonder why. O.O

Seven random facts about me

1. I love anime and manga.
2. I intend to keep my hairstyle til' 3 years later.
3. I <33 my mom's tofu egg.
4. I <33 my ah ma's pig stomach soup.
5. I don't intend to get into a relationship til' I think I'm old enough for it.
6. I think that crushes are okay.
7. I unconciously speak to myself at random times.

Seven celebrity crushes

Do I EVEN look like I have a celeb. crush? Oh please.

Seven qualities I want in a potential boyfriend/girlfriend

1. Sensitive
2. Decent (Glares at someone -ahem- in particular)
3. Able to listen
4. Knows where to draw the line
5. Commited
6. Romantic (O-kay, I do wish for that.)
7. Is. Not. A. Player. (Very important point.)

Seven things that scare me

1. Ghost movies
2. The dark
3. Those baka websites that suddenly a face would just pop out in front of you. >< Baka desu!!
4. Losing my friends
5. Eerie songs
6. Ghost Month
7. When my best friend is depressed

Seven random songs at the moment

1. Little Wing
2. Sakura Kiss
3. Theme song from My Lovely Samsoon
4. Yue Ding
5. Right Here Waiting-Richard Marx
6. At the Beginning- Anatasia
7. Friends forever- Vitamin C

Seven things I like the most

1. Dancing/Singing
2. Acting with the rest of my friends in Act 3
3. Drawing manga
4. Chatting with friends about nothing in particular
5. Listening to romantic songs
6. Reading..!! Esp. manga. XP
7. Watching anime and Korean serials. <33

Seven things I plan to do before I die
1. Go busking on the streets
2. Do another performance with Act 3 cast..!!
3. Become a mangaka
4. Enter a debate contest
5. Tear up my homework
6. Read up about the Trojan War
7. Visit France

Seven phrases I use the most

1. Anatawa hen jin desu
2. sigh
3. dots
4. uh huh
5. Kami-sama
6. Serious?!
7. What the..?!

Seven people i want to do this too

Can't be bothered to list.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 2:43 PM

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Nostalgia...

Shades of grey
Motions of pain
Fast wheels turning
One track moving

A journey unknown to me,
Heavy hearted,
Light headed.
Giddiness,
I swirl in shame.

A seperation, I know not of
Unrested frustrations,
I cannot resolve…

Stained memories
Tainted photographs
Recurring visuals
Of my unforgotten past.

I browsed through my emails...and I saw...my Act 3 script!! Yep, it brings loads of memories to mind. I really really miss it. (: No point dwelling on it..I need to move on.

Another really random post.
Rayne!

Our final Good bye…
Anxiety overrules me…
I know not what I am doing
An unfamiliar place, where my sister belongs
Will she remember me?
I remember her.

How much will she have changed?
My mind swirls
Confusion takes over me

We used to be close, she and I
Seperated,
We’ve been torn apart
I hope she still loves me.

Where dreams were made; 10:11 PM

Friday, August 25, 2006

To a very special person.

No, it's not a poem. And no, it has no structure. Just my feelings. If you can read this, you'll know what I mean. (:

Sometimes,
When you are depressed,
Faced with so many obstacles,
That you just want to give up,

Don't.

You gotta keep your head above water, y'know,
Just so that you can keep swimming,
Even though your hands and legs,
Feel like stone.

Just keep swimming. (:

Even if,
The world turns against you,
You'd always have me,
And a whole load of people by your side.

Supporting you.

And just remember,
That I'll always be there for you,
Waiting to hear your grievances,
Waiting for you to open up to me.

Even if you don't know it.

Just keep swimming. Never EVER give up, even when things look the worse, as they do now. I am in no position to empathise, never been through this before, but I hope that you know, that things would look up. You may not believe it, but it will.

Loves forever,
...Rayne...

Sidenote: Omigosh! I gotta do me eng review soon and fast. >< Random, sorry, but just to remind myself. STOP BLOGGING, RAYNE! Argh.

Where dreams were made; 8:09 PM

Thursday, August 24, 2006

New look! ^^

Heyy!!! I changed my blogskin!! Whee. (: Nothing else to blog, apparently. I blogged just now already. o.o

==>Rayney!~

Where dreams were made; 9:51 PM

Anchor...

You are my anchor to my present, my past...and hopefully my future.
You are my anchor to my sanity.
Thank you so much for being there for me, wherever and whenever I'm lost.
You will always have a place in my heart.
Rayne.
Where I Belong'06

Okayy...that was just a tribute to a very very special person. (: And surprise of surprises, it's a grownup!! But a very important one to me nevertheless. Thanks. Really.

Mmhmm...I'm thinking of having a song page, just for all my songs that I really love. But it'll take some time to load though...still thinking about it.

Oh yess....and I'd better change the skin of my blog. Like a haircut, y'know. Hopefully it'll look nicer. (:

Eh...I'm being random. Yet I have so much homework to do..!! And PTs too. Argh. Well..here I am blogging away without a single thought. Randomerr..

Good Grief!! I suddenly realised I've spent all my money on Teacher Day's presents...and I haven't finished buying them yet!! Ahhh....sigh. Kami-sama...I need guidance....

Hmm. Loads of paragraphs in this post.

I.

Like.

Paragraphs.

(:

Whee!! Random. Just came back from eating dinner...now I'm satisfied. ^^ And I'm still rather random...my brain is all jumbled up. Never mind never mind...I'll deal with that later.

Now, just let me enjoy a bit of peace.

As we go on, we remember all the times we met together...and as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be, Friends Forever.

loves.
rayne.*

Where dreams were made; 5:49 PM

Monday, August 21, 2006

Death

Main Entry: dead
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: not alive
Synonyms: asleep, belly up, bloodless, blooey, breathless, buried, cadaverous, checked out*, cold, cut off, deceased, defunct, departed, done for*, erased, expired, extinct, gone, inanimate, inert, late, lifeless, liquidated, mortified, no more, not existing, offed*, passed away, perished, reposing, rubbed out, snuffed out, spiritless, stiff, unanimated, washed up, wasted

Lol. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal. Just thought it was interesting to see what came up for synonyms of "dead". "Blooey"..? XD

Hmm...caught myself dreaming in the middle of the MRT train. Again. Actually, I was reflecting on what someone said to me after assembly today.

"When have you ever been nice?"

That set me thinking. Hmm... Have I ever been nice? To anybody, at all? Well, first, I have to choose a mood, don't I? In one of my more depressed moods, I would say, "No." Why? Because everything is a facade. Everything about ME is a facade. Well, that's what I would say if I'm depressed.

But if I'm optimistic..? Mm...well, I've no answer to that. XD As in, I don't know how I would react. Most probably I would just laugh it off or something. But still...

Predictable, predictable, predictable Rayne.

I was quite...bleak today. Erm, for reasons that Yi Fei and Gracey would know, I suppose. Well, I still am bleak over it, but more...numb. Unfeeling. I don't even want to think about it, okay? But it nags at a side of my brain. Just...leave me alone, yeah? I don't want to hurt you in the process.

I've been building up walls...stone walls to block every voice out. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. Okay, that's an exxageration. But y'know, I need some time to myself, just to calm down and think. Think about things that I wouldn't know...would I? Hmm. I'll tell you when I find the answer.

Ooh. I found this on a webbie. Trivia that makes me go "err..." XD

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Rayne!
1. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are Rayne.
2. Rayne can drink over 25 gallons of water at a time.
3. Rayne cannot swim!
4. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching Rayne.
5. Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of Rayne.
6. The fingerprints of Rayne are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
7. In the Great Seal of the United States the eagle grasps 13 arrows and Rayne!
8. If you put a drop of liquor on Rayne, she will go mad and sting herself to death.
9. Rayne once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
10. Some birds use Rayne to orientate themselves during migration!

You can find the stuff here. http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl?subject=Rayne&gender=f

++=*Rayne

Where dreams were made; 6:51 PM

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Just a fanfic based on my charries from Frozen Winds..Mind you, they are kittens. ^.~ Based on the series Warriors by Erin Hunter.

Silverkit
I grew up with my sister and parents, safe in the nursery of BlizzardClan. My sister Pearlkit was the quiet, demure one; whereas I, Silverkit, was the impulsive, stubborn one. My parents often lectured me when I got into scrapes. Their ending sentence would always be, "Learn from your sister!" Always.

It's true that I was slightly jealous of my sister. She was always so.. perfect, so gentle and sweet, winning everybody's heart with her quiet charm. I was always getting under everyone's paws, and they would always chide me, or cuff my ears. Throughout my entire life, I've never seen my sister being scolded before.

Pearlkit
From the time when we both were able to pad around on our paws, I always got the distinct feeling that Silverkit had never liked me. She was always running about causing havoc, but she never included me in her games nor her romps. It was just as well, I suppose. I did not enjoy jumping on ice in an effort to break it just so that I can swim; nor did I enjoy climbing the Sky Mountains just to see the sunrise. I was rather quiet and shy, always tagging after our mother and talking to the elders in their den, and changing their bedding for them. Silverkit stuck to our father like a second shadow, going out of camp with him and coming back flushed with her fur tousled. Of course, sometimes she would wander out of camp alone, and then our parents would lecture her. I would sit by and watch, and cringe when the last sentence, "Learn from your sister!" came.

Although I kept being praised by all the cats in the Clan, sometimes I couldn't help looking over at Silverkit, where she would be mock-fighting with other kits. And sometimes, I just wish...to be more like her, so out-going and fun-loving. If only.

My impression of Silverkit disliking me changed drastically after that. I had wanted to be more daring, so I wandered out of camp alone into the Sky Mountains undetected. My mother was chatting with some other queens, and my father was out hunting. My sister, as usual, was not anywhere to be found. I had padded out of camp, just meaning to have a small adventure of my own. StarClan knew, I ran into trouble.

~~~*~~~
Next part of sequel coming up!! Look out for it!

Rayne==>

Where dreams were made; 4:35 PM

Ouran High School Host Club {opening}

The opening song of Ouran. <333!!!

*Rayne

Where dreams were made; 1:59 PM

Saturday, August 12, 2006

I'm SICKK

I'm sick.

With a flu.

And cough.

I took some cough syrup and conked off for about 2 hours...Now I feel so woozy. And I haven't started work yet.

Go figure.

And monday's the auditions, and I don't know HALF OF THE STEPS, even though I DID go for the rehearsal.

Oh, darn this flu. Darn this weather. Darn this time.

I mean, it's like so inopportune lahz! Just when the audition is going to begin, I had to come down with this BLOODY flu.

Kami-sama...

Well, at least I'm not singing, only dancing. But still...

To make it worse, my mom's flying off tmr. At 10++ in the morning. Ehhh.

I don't feel like starting on my hmwk. But.

I.

Have.

To.

Gahh. I want to meet with the Act 3 cast again!! -Cries- They are talking about a gathering in Sep hols, and by nuts, I WILL make it!!! No matter what they say. Hah.

And it JUST had to be seven month. Which means what? More incense. More smoke. More sneezing and block nose periods. I'm getting ready to breathe fire.

Give me patience, Kami sama...

Anyway, back to my work I go. Bleahh.

//~Rayne..~]]

Where dreams were made; 2:41 PM

Friday, August 11, 2006

Ouran again!!

Another blogskin featuring...

*drum rolls*

Ouran!!

Whoo~ I <33 Ouran...Haruhi + Tamaki = perfection... Haruhi + Hikaru = perfection with a twist of mischief. :P Can't decide which couple I like better.

Is this blogskin nicer than the previous? Give me your comments, yeah?? And I hit a new record yesterday. 3 entries in a row!! Whoa..That is unbelievable. O.O

Hmm...I like this blogskin, yeah...but I like the older one too....this one is more complicated though. But I still <33 it... :P

Ehh...I'm really sleepy out of a sudden. =.=" Just now, I went and cycled 'round for an hour..passed by the lobby and suddenly gave a loud sneeze. This auntie jumped in the air..!! I kinda grinned sheepishly at her, and she said (jokingly), "You gave auntie a scare..!" and stuff like that. Eh. Sorry. I didn't realise it was going to be THAT loud.

As I cycled, I was humming Sakura Kiss, then this man hobbled along and gave me a weird look. I like that tune, okay!! Hmmph. And I was grouching about that...and nearly missed swerving into a wall. Uh...I'm really a blunderbuss..

Ate a hot fudge sundae. Teesh and Flo were there. Flo ate a McFlurry. Equally fattening...!! I must go exercise more. Or else..

Oh, an interesting snippet by blur Teesh.

[[Teesh calling Miiin on loud speaker for the thousandth time. Miin did not pick it up]]
Me: Aren't you wasting money by calling her so many times?
[[Teesh did not reply. Seemed to space out. Flo took out her paper and examined it.]]
Florence: Oh look. I didn't realise that my printer was running out of ink.
[[Teesh suddenly focuses back on my convo. (Delayed reaction!! XD) ]]
Teesh: Oh, it's okay. She never picks it up anyway.

[[XD!!!]]

Flo and I were laughing our heads off. Teesh finally tunes in and says, "Wait, what was the question?"

Blur, blur Teeshiuu. Xp

Erm, after awhile Yi Min and Jo-Ann turned up. Apparently they, Miin, Flo and Teesh had arranged to go ice-skating. I packed up my things and said bye.

I don't usually talk about my day. (: Today's an exception. Don't ask why...

`Rayney!! ^^;;

Where dreams were made; 7:10 PM

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Stabbing.

T.T Grace just had to stab me, and I just had -out of curiosity and boredom- to go to her blog to see her latest entry. Anyway, here goes...
Some questions you would never ask anyone. Stab 5 people to do it after you are done.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I can't really remember. Normally, I don't think yet, because 1) I'm still asleep 2) I'm a zombie in the morning, and zombies don't think, do they? I only revert back to human around noon.

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
I haven't had sex, so you can't really say 'next', can you? Anyway, after I marry.
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"?
..Wore?

4. Favorite planet?
Neptune. The name and the colour are pretty...

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
Actually, it was listed as 'Home', but my mom called me. She wanted me to buy some snack for her high tea. XD

6. What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?
Dreamer. It's a really nice ringtone; not too fast and not too slow. And it reminds me of bubbles. Don't ask. ^^;;

7. What kinda shirt you have on?
Erm...does a dress count? A dress with a flower pattern, a design around the collar, buttons and pockets.

8. Describe yourself in one phrase.
Fluctuating idiot. It's the truth.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
BARE FEET. XD

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright. I am scared -not too much now- of the dark, and anyway, what can you do in a dark room, besides sleeping and tell ghost stories? Bright rooms are more cheerful.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
She is VERY hyper, VERY cheerful, VERY bouncy, and I've never seen her getting angry before. Not like me. XD She writes AMAZING prose, and her style is to be envied. She speaks her mind, is kinda blur -but adorable- at times, and doesn't like anybody to be angry with her. Her name is mentioned above; go find it yourself!

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
The one nearest to the window. The one nearest to the door is rather...scary...and the one nearest to the window has better ventilation anyway. And if the view is nice... o.o

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Tossing and turning restlessly in bed because I was thinking of things which I wished for...but could not be realised...

14. What did your last text message say that you received on your mobile?
Can't be bothered to check.

15. Where is your letter box?
Right next to the lift on ground floor. If you are reading while walking and not taking notice of where you are going...and you turn left...you would walk right straight into the letterbox. No wait-most likely you would knock down the dustbin first. XD

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
I have no idea. O.O I never took notice..

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
[!!!] Oops sorry. I was thinking of someone else...but anyway she's my mom. Coming in to say goodnight at 11.50 last night. ^^

18. Last furry thing you touched?
My teddy bear. Pink fur.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
I'm not sick. Body and mind.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
None that I recall..

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Can't choose. Twelve, I suppose. (:

22. Your worst enemy?
*censored*

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Snapshots of Tamaki and Haruhi. ^.~

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Mm." To my father. Can't remember for what reason.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly?
A million bucks. I never liked heights, and I can think of stuff that I want with a million bucks..

26. Do you like someone?
Eh. Like like or just like? Well anyway...I used to like like somebody, but I guess that's over. (: Erm..of course I like people!! My friends...my cousins...

27. The last song you listened to?
Sakura Kiss by Chieco Kawabe. Opening song for Ouran High School Host Club. <33

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
Why would my dad be shot by a bullet? Touch wood!! Would I have time to jump in front of him, anyway...Sorry, but I'm just brutally practical.

29. If you could punch one person in the face who would it be?
Would I punch someone in the face..? For what reason? Punching should be left to the guys...girls should slap. Ah well, if I was going to punch someone...a robber, or a molester? A rapist? Touch wood, of course, but y'know...

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
A stack of printing paper.

Okay..now for the stabbing. First, Sarah!! Siaw. Erm, then Sihan, Karyen, Jessica, Sheena. I hereby stab you guys with a satay stick. XD
==;Rayne;==*

Where dreams were made; 5:04 PM

Some poems by Kenn Nesbitt. Enjoy. (:

My dog ate my homework.
That mischievous pup
got hold of my homework
and gobbled it up.

My dog ate my homework.
It's gonna be late.
I guess that the teacher
will just have to wait.

My dog ate my homework.
He swallowed it whole.
I shouldn't have mixed it
with food in his bowl.

And another…
My teacher took my iPod.
She said they had a rule;
I couldn't bring it into class
or even to the school.

She said she would return it;
I'd have it back today.
But then she tried my headphones on
and gave a click on Play.

She looked a little startled,but after just a while
she made sure we were occupied
and cracked a wicked smile.

Her body started swaying.
Her toes began to tap.
She soon was grooving in her seat
and rocking to the rap.

My teacher changed her mind.
She said it's now okay
to bring my iPod into class.
She takes it every day.

And yet another…
I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer's on the blink.

I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn't looking.

My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.

Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My homework was absconded
by an evil killer clown.

Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.

It took so long to make these up
I realized, with dread,
it would have just been easier
to do the work instead.

Another one! (:
My teacher ate my homework.
I'm aware it's rather odd.
She sniffed at it and smiled
with an approving sort of nod.

She took a little nibble
--it's unusual, but true --
then had a somewhat larger bite
and gave a thoughtful chew.

I think she must have liked it,
for she really went to town.
She gobbled it with gusto
and she wolfed the whole thing down.

She licked off all her fingers,
gave a burp and said, "You pass."
I guess that's how they grade you
when you take a cooking class.

Uh…A valentine-y one. Kinda sweet.
Today I Got a Valentine
from everyone but Kay.
But that's alright...
I never liked her that much anyway.

She never trades her Oreos.
She isn't good at catch.
She doesn't like my favorite bands.
Her socks don't often match.

She doesn't play computer games.
She wears her hair in braids.
She's something of a teacher's pet
and always gets good grades.

She dots her i's with little hearts.
She's always reading books.
Whenever I'm around, she gives me
such confusing looks.

But, oh my goodness, here comes Kay,
and what is this I see?
It seems she has an extra special
Valentine for me.

It's big and red has the words
"Will you be mine today?"
I always said there's no one else
I like as much as Kay.

Aha. THIS one. I recited it for Drama audition, and to nobody’s surprise didn’t get in. XD
I took myself out on a date
and said I'm looking grand,
and when I got my courage up
I asked to hold my hand.

I took me to a restaurant
and then a movie show.
I put my arm around me
in the most secluded row.

I whispered sweetly in my ear
of happiness and bliss,
and then I almost slapped me
when I tried to steal a kiss.

Then afterwards I walked me home
and since I'm so polite
I thanked me for a perfect date
and wished myself goodnight.

There's just one little problem
and it kind of hurts my pride.
Myself would not invite me in
so now I'm locked outside!

;;Rayney. (:

Where dreams were made; 3:56 PM

Wheee

I changed my blog skin again. (: This time, I edited it on Photoshop. For those who don't know who they are, they are Haruhi and Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club! <33 Yepp, I'm addicted to that series at the present moment. They look so sweet together... :3 Haruhi is very kawaii...

So there you have it!! I haven't started on my proper work yet...erm...and I need to start preparing teacher's day cards for my teachers. Although it's like..one month away..I have to start early, right??? Mmhmm..And I got so many cards to prepare too~!! Coz I got so many teachers....Not that I'm grudging it...

Haa~...the day after National Day....and suddenly it's 10 August. I was looking back and wondering, "Eh. So fast..." I feel like I'm missing something somehow. (: Post-holiday feeling, perhaps? But I got 3 more days of hols left~

Hmm...time does pass, doesn't it? In Feb, I was thinking, "July is so far awayy.." and it's gone in a wink of an eye!! o_o And now it's August...which means...

I'm going to be one year older soon! Hai hai, my birthday is in September ne...but then I can't say I'm feeling excited 'bout it. I'm more excited on Xmas day and CNY. Xmas because I get more presents, and CNY because I can go back to PEPS (i) [XD] My birthday..well...not many people celebrate my birthday, only my family. ^^;; Because well...my cousins don't really know when is my birthday, ne, and they forget. -stares at Sheena O.O- Joking, darling. ^^ But you get the general idea.

My friends..well, some of them know when is my birthday, so they give me presents. But then...erm...some of them don't, see, and then...

Eh. I lost my train of thought. In a nutshell, I don't really get that excited over my birthday. It kinda losts the thrill, ne, because you already know that you are one year older. Mostly, I just wake up and go, "Oh. It's my birthday." and try to steal some more sleep. XD My birthday should fall on a weekday this time...

Mmm, so that's it. Although why I'm talking about my birthday when it's more than one month away is beyond my comphrehension. Ah. What to talk about now, ne...

Sorry, I'm feeling rather japanese today. Because of Ouran. ^^ Anyway....

Can't find anything to talk about now. >< Shall blog later, ne? But when school starts again..

*ominous sound* O_O

Trying to sustain a blog is rather tiring. You saw what happened to my other blogs. ^^;; Gomen gomen, though it's not really my fault, y'know. Shan't justify that reason...my hands are getting cramped...

[[*Rayne~//]]]

Where dreams were made; 1:27 PM

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Okayish.

I'm feeling light-hearted today. (:

So yep, I'll be posting something more cheerful then seperation and Lit reflections, and hopefully this would be a longer post.

I think my blogskin is rather plain, don't you? But I like it. The girl is rather kawaii... I had more elaborate blogskins in the past, and all of them BLACK. I seem to have a soft spot for black. Anyway, I'm trying to revert back into white. White and blue looks nice together...

Besides being light-hearted, I also feel random. And I'm thinking about colours a lot!! Whee. Today, I shall revert back into a 4 year old child. 'Tis fun, though I still have homework to do. ^^;;

Tell me something, does pink looks sweeter on grey or purple looks sweeter? Or light blue? I'm planning out my apron design, and I found several lace that looks quite pretty. No white; although I like white, it doesn't really go with grey, and the design I have in mind. Give me your comments please!

I finished my Math PT. At least, my part. So Debby and Gracey and Shiing darlings, please hustle over to see your emails. I attached the data too.

Today's National Day. And I suppose I have to wear red and white, but I wore that yesterday already. And I'm having a grudge towards curry now, because it stained my white skirt. And it's new!!! So I had to pester my mother to buy bleach, so that my ill-fated skirt can be purely white again. Gahh.

I actually wanted to blog yesterday, but I was too lazy. Anyway, I was reading the online literature until very late into the night. -.-"

I'm thinking of taking up a japanese name. Like dear Jessica. I love your Jap name, and I miss you so much!!! Yepp. So well...what Japanese name is nice? Aiko? Minako? Umii? Hmm...I guess it should have some meaning. Umi means sea in japanese, which is quite compatible with my CCA, but then....Aiko sounds and looks nicer. I shall stick with Rayne now. For the time being. ^^;;

I finally wrote a letter to my angel. Haven't wrote to her for such a long time. And I am itching to sketch something, and post it here. I shall see...I want to play with Photoshop more...but I have no time...

An entirely random post. Well! I should put in some literary value, but I'm STUCK. Hopelessly, hopelessly stuck. My brain just ceased to function. Never mind that now. I'm just babbling my way through.

Is this post long enough, now? Argh...I can go on and on and on forever with a millionbillionwillion things to say, but then... O.O My fingers are getting sore. So I shall stop...preferably here...now...

~Rayney...

Where dreams were made; 11:47 AM

Monday, August 07, 2006

Reflections

Something I wrote in my Lit journal about Helen Keller.

I had paired up with Grace, and I was the Guesser. Firstly, Grace took my hand, and guided me to her pencil/pen and an eraser. Then, she mimicked the actions of thrusting the pencil/pen into the eraser. I had no idea what it was, and I gave out several answers like “sword” and “push”. Grace said no, and then she let me feel the eraser before mimicking the actions again. This time, I came out with “sharpener”, and she laughed. However, the answer was still in the negative.

I was feeling rather frustrated then. How was I supposed to know what it was, if all the relevant answers- to me- were false? The worse thing was that I could not ask her for clues, but must only rely on my sense of touch. My eyelids were itching to open, and I just wanted to flip over the card and see what the word was! It was then that I knew how Helen felt. At least I could still open my mouth and utter words and really knowing what they were, and getting back an answer. What about Helen? To live in a pitch-dark world, clueless of how the outside world looked like or heard like. I at least know what words mean, and how the world was, but what about her? Being deaf and blind from such a young age, does she know what exactly is the world? She only has her imagination to rely on, and yet, when she grew up, she accomplished so many things. If I were her, I would have wallowed in the depths of despair, refusing to even see a ray of hope, only being a burden to my family. Yet she- she, being so courageous, had bravely picked up threads of her dark life, and woven it into something so colourful, so tangible, for everyone else to read. By this, I mean her book. I have her book, and the written content does not give any hint that she is blind. She describes the world with such clarity in some of her entries that I feel, if I didn’t know that she was blind, I would have imagined her to be just another author writing her biography, just based on her entries. She describes her blindness and deafness just like another matter, but I can imagine what a great obstacle it must be, for her to know what language is.

These reflections about Helen all came to me in a flash, when I was sitting there feeling Grace mimic the actions again and again. Now then, the answer came to me. I said it, Grace answered in the positive, and I opened my eyes to see the classroom again.

The answer was marshmallow.

Where dreams were made; 8:56 PM

Sunday, August 06, 2006

A Photoshop piccy

Something I did in photoshop. Somehow, these days my thoughts are focused on the theme of leaving. Ah well, maybe because I miss Act 3 people out there. Anyway, on to the picture...

Where dreams were made; 6:52 PM

Writer's Block

"Aiko...Aiko..."

The girl spun around, her eyes aglow with a feverish hope. "James! James, where are you?"

"Aiko, I'm here, this way..."

Aiko flung her arms wide, frantically turning around again. "Where?" She cried, desperate. "I can't see you! James..."

"Aiko," the thin, wavery voice whispered, "Aiko, I'm here. Can't you see me? I miss you so much.."

She ran, her skirts billowing about her. At the end of the stairway, she halted, then swirled around again. Her turqoise eyes shimmering with tears, she whimpered, "Where? Where? James, where are you?"

"I'm here..."

Aiko's pale lips trembled. "I can't see you, James....I can't see you!" Dropping down on her knees, she covered her face with her hands. "I can't see you..."

A pair of hands, warm and light, took her hands aside. "Now can you see me?" A pair of dark brown eyes met hers, and the rosy mouth curved into a sweet smile that was so achingly familiar.

"James...?" She whispered, her eyes widening. "James, I-" Flinging her arms around the boy, she buried her face into his shoulder and breathed in his warm scent. "James, but how-"

"I can't stay long, Aiko," his voice was soft.

Aiko leaned back to study his face. "W-what do you mean?" She whispered, terrified by the sudden feeling that overwhelmed her. "Where are you going? Don't be ridiculous, James, you are alive and well. You will come back, won't you? We still have to visit Momma and tell her that you're with me-"

"Aiko." His voice was insistent, his child eyes grave. "I'm dead. You can't change that. Tell Momma I love her, but there's nothing I can do. Tell her-"

"No!" She shrieked, her eyes widening in desperation. "No! This cannot be! Stop playing tricks with me, James," she warned him hysterically, "if I find out that this is a trick, I would skin you with Papa's belt, I will-"

"It's no trick," he stated matter-of-factly. "Aiko, you must remember the day that I died. We were playing on the pavement remember? That I had ran out onto the main road, and the van was just approacing us-"

"Stop it! Stop it!"

"-and I was knocked down by the van, and the pool of blood at my head-"

"STOP IT!" She screamed, her hands on her ears, her head shaking frantically in denial. "Stop it," she whimpered, her eyes dimming with the memory. "Stop it..."

"I have to go now, Aiko," he murmured, his voice full of regret. "Say hello to Momma for me..."

"No! James!" She tried to run to him, but her legs felt like stone. "James!" Her arm outstretched, she tried to reach for him, her eyes pleading. "James, please..."

"Bye, Aiko," he whispered, slowly drifting away. "Bye..."

"James!"

--Curtain falls down--

I got a bit of writer's block, see, so I just had to write something down. Now, back to my work...

~*Rayne;~*

Where dreams were made; 5:11 PM

The Beginning

I know, I have been fickle. Always changing blogs. But this time...

You see, this is no common blog. This is not a recount of my day. This is a recount of my moods, of my feelings. And to recount them, I put them in free poetry. I don't adhere to proper poetry protocols either. Whatever I think of, I put them down. I don't craft my poems. They are...raw material. Raw data, as you may put it. You may have already seen Butterfly in the Shadows, the poem below. If you analyse it properly, you will see no content, no proper plot. It may appear...superficial, a newbie. But then, how would you know how I feel? You may think it is just..pure depression, pure anger, pure sadness? How much of the iceberg have you seen? That's why this blog is not a day-by-day blog. It's a feeling-by-feeling blog.

I am hopelessly jaded. I can't remain the same all the time. It's sad, but true. I can never return to the Rayne I was, the Rayne you knew. I change. People change. In a way, that's why I chose this blogskin. To remind myself of the things I can never have, the things that I always dream of. They seem so close, yet so far, just like a star in the sky. To remind myself of the light I can never step into, always retreating into the shadows, into the dark. But at least here, for a moment, I can pretend that I am not who I am, forget what I have been through. Just for a minute, I can almost be who I was last year. Then the magic would end, and I will return to reality, to the harsh realization of the present. Deal with it.

==> Rayne. A girl. A new beginning. ME.

Where dreams were made; 10:49 AM

Butterfly in Shadows

You said that you loved me,
But you left me there injured,
Unwanted.
Abandoned.
Stranded.

When I finally blossomed again,
You came back and said
That you loved me.
Unrequited,
Unreserved,
love.

I was naive,
Unexperienced,
Trusting.

But now I know better.

I'll just melt into the shadows,
Blend in with the fog,
And there,
In my safe haven,
I will nurse my wounds.

In the darkness,
I will wilt,
Die.
Be Reborn.

//~Rayne*

Where dreams were made; 10:35 AM