When the stars have all gone out, you'll still be burning so bright.

Friday, November 28, 2008

But I've heard rumors of true reality;

whispers of a well-lit way.

The first part of it is on Equine's blog :D

_ Eleanor Rigby says:
i have 7 reasons why im not not more childish than u!
:P
Rayne; Lukewarm will never do. says:
what?
_ Eleanor Rigby says:
one im older than u
two im taller than u
three im older and taller than u
four uhhh
five cos house said he had 7 reasons for something in some episode which i forgot
six POKE
Rayne; Lukewarm will never do. says:
o_o
_ Eleanor Rigby says:
seven -sticks out tongue-
Rayne; Lukewarm will never do. says:
HAH. well I have EIGHT reasons why I am not more childish than you.
one older does not constitute to mental maturity.
two ditto for height.
three you said that you were not NOT more childish than me, meaning that you are!
oh wait that should be four.
three is ditto for age AND height
five that is a stupid reason.
(and you know it.)
six you just proved that you are more childish by POKING me.
seven and sticking out your tongue
eight Because eight reasons pwns seven, HA.
THERE.
:D
_ Eleanor Rigby says:
-_-

Do you ever walk on a street, and suddenly be overwhelmed by this compulsive, reckless, inexplicably whimsical-sad feeling? It's like missing a piece of your soul.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 11:30 PM

Thursday, November 27, 2008

"What I really wanted then," he said softly, "was to be a sort of carpet - to make myself into a sort of carpet for you to walk on so that you need not be hurt by the sharp stones and the mud that you hated so. It was nothing more positive than that - nothing more selfish. Only did I desire, eventually, to turn into a magic carpet and carry you away to all those lands you longed to see."

As he spoke she lifted her head as though she drank something; the strange beast in her bosom began to purr...

"I felt that you were more lonely than anybody else in the world," he went on, "and yet, perhaps, that you were the only person in the world who was really, truly alive. Born out of your time," he murmured, stroking the glove, "fated."

- A Dill Pickle, Katherine Mansfield

Perhaps, if he had stopped there, she might've given them a second chance, and they would be happy. Or would she discover, later, that they weren't really happy at all? That he hadn't changed, and maybe, neither had she?

In any case, as she left I thought that she might be cursing herself for a momentary streak of innocence, of hope, of foolishness. Maybe she was relieved. Or more so, disappointed, after all.

Maybe it is these incidents that shape the thing that I've been asking myself days ago, and today. Maybe in the end it didn't really matter that we do it, but how we're going to deal with it.

..Sigh.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 9:42 PM

A tentative give-and-take.

In a field outside of town we could always be alone.

On Monday I went to get my ears pierced, without further consultation and deliberation. Well, other than the talk I had with gee on the bus that day, but that was completely unplanned. I'm proud of myself! :D It does me good sometimes to do things on a whim.

I can't decide which I dislike more, blood tests, or ear piercings. (I got a blood test done as well, recently.) With blood tests the needle lingers longer under your skin as they draw out a generous (in my opinion, but not compared to, say, blood donation) amount of vein blood, but the needle for ear piercings just punch though in a few seconds flat. (Gosh I just remembered Sarah's punpunpunpun on the "punching". You silly girl!)

On the other hand you've got to go through two rounds of piercings as opposed to once for blood tests...yet on another note it doesn't really matter if you tense up for ear piercings because there aren't muscles at your lobes to hamper the needle, but there are for arms which is why I had to continually tell myself to relax and concentrate on The Fratellis' Tell Me A Lie instead.

And yet on another hand (sorry for the amount of comparison) you'll have to take blood tests for many more times in the future in unforeseeable circumstances, and I am most likely not going to get another piercing unless it gets infected and I'll have to let it close AGAIN, but I'll be so averse to ear holes that I won't want another piercing either.

I'm trying to type out a story, but the theme makes me restless and my conceived plot is hardly materializing. I keep thinking that I need to fit into my niche, but I guess instead of waiting for it to find me, I should find it instead.

Gundam 00 has a really good plot, but I don't like the Meisters. (Dolly will have my head off for this.) Though Cheryl did say that they would be nicer later, so. Looking forward to it!

..good grief I'm looking through Equine's australian photos on Flickr and giggling. Well it's not so much the photos as the conversation, but just a mixture of both. Okay, more of the conversation. Okay, definitely the conversation.

;D

Where dreams were made; 11:11 AM

Saturday, November 22, 2008

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same.

You know, every time I drop one of the dark jade-green balls - which, I have from the most reliable source, improves blood circulation (XD) - on the floor (which happens quite a lot, seeing as I tried rotating it in the other direction with my left hand) it makes this awful heavy clanging noise as smooth-hard clashes against smooth-hard which makes me wince. Surprisingly, there hasn't been a chip off them yet, but I won't count on it.

I've been talking a lot to Mush, ever since I got him today. He's still as furry with the sweetest gaze in his brown eyes. We have loads to catch up on - two years' worth. (Mostly it's about this one person we both know. ;) )

I've started watching Gundam 00. Sigh. In truth, it was the idea that caught my attention as I stayed up last night watching TV, or I would have never been interested if it was merely another show full of sleek robot suits and space-fighting. But eradicating war, forever? Hmm, interesting.

And, you know when you've read a book too many times in a short amount of time when it doesn't make you feel touched in that heartfelt way anymore. Or maybe it's just those few heartwrenching paragraphs which I reread over and over again during bus rides. It's pretty sad! Still a great book, though.

Rayne
& as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful.

Where dreams were made; 7:51 PM

Friday, November 21, 2008

Don't tell me you have been waiting as much as I have, because I won't buy one sentence of it.

Where dreams were made; 10:27 PM

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The infamous carroty smile.

I do honestly think I can continue like this. Drawing, playing the piano, talking to friends, trying my utmost best to go out with ______, cup of milo/hot chocolate/milk tea in hand, good book on my lap.

...thinking, apparently does not translate to real-life situations.

So. I've renewed my commitment to math, and a ton of worksheets are now sitting on my table awaiting my perusal (haha, if only JUST perusal!) and my calculator's not far off. Now if only I will start, I might just finish one chapter.

Haha, get real. It's ten and I'm not even contemplating lifting my pen. That above paragraph was a REMINDER and a prod for me to start start start start start.

I'm officially an aunt now, with a beautiful (oh definitely, I can feel it in my bones, even though I've never laid my eyes on him) baby cousin-nephew born yesterday. :D I can't wait to meet him!

I found this amazing place where I can read Judith Mcnaught's books, and so I've been rereading all my favourites again. I will not gush about it, only that it is really good. With hot chocolate and Yiruma, absolutely fantastic.

Can't wait for Doctor Who to come back! I'm contending myself with Torchwood, which still gets me every time, because it is - even though I've said that nothing can be too human - so human, gosh. I love the way they do it because they behave absolutely like anyone would in those circumstances. Jealousy, anger, love, dry wit and all. Brilliant. The wedding episode was hilarious, even though the shapeshifter was scary.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 10:30 PM

Monday, November 17, 2008

All things weird and wonderful.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUNI!!!! <3!

Went down after church to visit Dolly and Cass. After having lunch with her I have to say...that the fuss that we made about your eating last year? Very

overrated. Pfft.

Well unless you have a plate of curry chicken in front of you. With the drumstick. ;)

It did provide entertainment, though, I'll give you that. & gosh, I want to eat steak again!

Cass is seriously one of the most adorable things ever. I loved him ever since I laid my eyes on him. His body is so warm and little that when I cuddle him I can feel him breathing. He has such intelligent eyes. They aren't soft and melty like doggy eyes, but they are intelligent eyes, as dark as black glass beads. And the way he nips at stuff? Adorable.

So I don't understand why Dolly can gush about the 5.5 thousand dollars parrot which she made a beeline for once we went to the bird shop, and then spend all her time in front of its cage cajoling it to talk to her. The rest of the time was spent in the air-conditioned part deliberating over birdie toys for Cass. INFIDEL.

Alright, admittedly, that 5.5k parrot has a very nice plumage and has a very "smart"-ish air around it, and its childish voice when it squawks "hello" is appealing, but honestly, how many times can you greet a parrot in a day?!

Although, if it's left up to Dolly, she'll train it to say SOUBI, or any one of her fangirlable characters right now. (I mean, your poor laptop! And your guitar! D: ) And very possibly, woolly hooves.

Okay enough of 5.5k parrots. Let's talk about Cass.

That's Cass. The first lovebird baby which I ever got the privilege to hold.

After I went to the bird shop and saw other lovebird babies, I've got to admit that Cass is very oddly feathered. His head isn't meant to be so feathered when his body isn't, really.

He is so beautifully coloured. And so are budgies. They have such beautiful colourings - pearl grey, white with bluish overtones (if I ever get one I'll name him/her Skye because yes, that's how they look like), yellow with green peeking out. Beautiful colour combinations.

He was antisocial to begin with - turning his back on us as we marveled over him, but when I left he had begun to chirp. A lot.

I would photospam Cass, but I didn't have a proper camera and my handphone is rather sucky. Bad lighting and all!

(But he is a darling. Even though I'm not exactly a birdy person.)

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 8:44 PM

Thursday, November 13, 2008

She's the one that makes my dreams;

Geez. Catch me waking up at 5.30 am ever again. Oh wait - I forgot, I'll have to do it next year! Couldn't wake up at all this morning, had to be literally dragged out of bed.

Got to spend two fun hours outside, thank you very much dear. (: I always enjoy your company.

(But gosh, the poor mixed drink. ><)

Nancy you need to stop making me laugh!

I'm becoming increasingly partial to being nocturnal...the beauty of holidays. If I could I would stay up from dusk till dawn just talking. Talking, and thinking. It'll be really cool if we really could stay up all the way. :D

And I really dislike tearing the plastic off the CD. I can never find the opening to tear it off. Spent five minutes worrying over the Train album and poking at it with my finger. But once I'm able to tear it the plastic comes off nicely and easily.

I keep feeling that it's something I should say, something I should do. But it's the reaction that I'm worried about.

You used to say that there's a time we all deserve to lose our minds
So I lost my mind; now I'm ready to find my way

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 10:01 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

We're only here a little while...

To have someone snoop around your archives and show it to you again to have a good chortle over it is very..... D:

-is disconcerted-

Anyway. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BISCUIT! Gosh I keep missing your actual birthday, I MSNed you what, one day earlier and then I forgot! So sorry. Have fun being a biscuit always! ;) See you next year!

I love getting my hands smudged with pencil lead. Somehow there's this feeling of accomplishment, along with a cricking neck and an aching back. Though seriously, two hours is not enough time, the last one was so badly done that I refuse to look at it again.

I need more paper.

Actually, I need to get back into the drive, I've been so out of it that I can almost delude myself into thinking that I can spend all my time like this. Must. Do. Work. CCAO!!!!!!!! When I close my eyes I can see them imprinted on the back of my eyelids.

Edit: Changed the song on my blog, now it's Beloved by Yiruma. Gosh he is SUCH a genius, but it's such a pity if River Flows In You is only known for being "Edward's song" - it's so pretty and really deserves to be famed for its tune and not its brand. I mean, it's not even official!

Updated links, a little: Yes Tricia I finally added a y. XD If I missed anyone out I'm sorry!

The sky was a really scary colour just now, with a greenish tinge.

You put me on a line and hung me out to dry
And darling that's when I decided to go to sea
You cut me down to size and opened up my eyes
Made me realize what I could not see

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 3:02 PM

Monday, November 10, 2008

Meme!

Torchwood's taking an awfully long time to load.

Do you like waking up in the morning to find that you have new texts?
Depends on WHO sends it, but generally yes.

Are you usually wide awake in the mornings?
Define morning. Around eight, or nine is fine, but not six in the morning, that is a horrible time to be awake.

Has anything disappointed you today?
Not really.

When is the last time you saw the person you like/liked?
Phoah...erm, yesterday?

How old were you when you started swimming on your own?
Five? Six? Can't remember, it was a long time ago.

Are you wearing rings?
Nope.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Slight ones? Yesterday.

Are you confident in yourself?
More or less.

Are you hanging out with anyone tonight?
Unfortunately not.

Does it bother you when you text somebody and they take forever to text back?
...No.....just that I'll keep checking my handphone at intervals. Actually it depends on the person as well, and the circumstances.

What's your favorite milkshake flavor?
Chocolate? I don't know, I rarely drink milkshakes.

Are you currently doing laundry?
Nope.

Did you ever read any of the Babysitters Club books?
I think I flipped through one before.

Do you have a job?
Non-paying, currently on holiday. ;D

What can't you wait for?
To go out with _________ (: I mean, it's not even confirmed. o:

What brand is your shirt right now?
Dress. Some obscure brand.

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed. Gosh it'll be so creepy to have them open while I sleep, and wake up to find my clothes mussed or have something crawling out of the closet. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Are you in an argument with someone important?
Not now. Was, a few days before. ):

What is bothering you right now?
:/

Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
Yes. It intensifies with the importance of the person to me. I mean, remember your promises please.

What's the worst abuse you have done to your phone?
Dropped it on the gravel path so that there are ugly gorges in the corner of it. I am so sorry.

Who was the last person to make you cry?
Myself, if I'm not wrong. It was complicated.

If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
I remember this question!!!! Wherever you are.

Where is your cell phone?
Right next to me, and I'm checking it at regular intervals (hint hint you know who you are.)

Does anyone call you baby?
Er.....no. Please don't start.

Are you honestly happy with who you are?
Not with who I am per se, but with who I have. :]

If you're being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
I don't feel like talking...?

What celebrities do you find attractive?
Argh what?

Are you single?
Then what can I be, double Raynes?!

Are you a patient person?
Depending.

Are you a light sleeper or heavy sleeper?
Heavy! Thank goodness for a trusty body clock.

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
Obviously.

Does it take a lot to make you cry?
How do I know!

Think of all your exes, would you take any of them back?
Not Applicable.

What do you do when your nervous?
Be quiet, talk a lot, fidget, keep still, bounce around the room.

What does the newest text message in your inbox say?
CAN'T POST. It's incriminating. And extremely long.

Who was the last person you held hands with?
....

Do you flirt a lot?
I don't flirt.

Would you ever consider having a relationship with your best friend?
But we are. ;D

Who gives you the best advice?
On what?

What piercings do you want to get?
None. Ears, perhaps, but I think of self-mutilation and the prospect of getting them infected AGAIN and I'm put off.

Do you listen to Blink 182?
Whazzat?

How are you currently feeling?
I don't know, actually. No noticeable oncoming cold/flu, slight lethargy. Outward symptoms, pfft.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 10:11 PM

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Funny animation. This is what you get when you become too obsessed...

Quiz!

[x] I'm afraid of silence.
[x] I talk A LOT when I get really nervous. (Actually this depends on the situation, but most of the time I fidget.)
[x] I am really ticklish!!!!!!!!!!! (Sometimes! The shock gets me more than anything.)
[x] I'm afraid of the dark.
[x] I'm afraid of facing my back to open doors at night.
[ ] I can't sleep in a room if the door is open.
[ ] I can't sleep in a room if the door is closed.
[ ] I am afraid of gay or lesbian people.
[x]I believe in true love.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm sad. (I would've, or I might've, but some people are very observant. Actually it's more of angry than sad when I do shut people out. I'm afraid of saying something which I would regret later.)
[ ]I've stayed out all night.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world. (Haha fat chance)
[x] I watch the news. (Sometimes.)
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I love Disney movies. (The classic ones, like Lion King and Beauty and the Beast.)
[ ] I am a sucker for green eyes.
[x] I am a sucker for brown eyes. (Only one pair of human ones and many many doggy pairs.)
[ ] I am a sucker for blue eyes.
[ ] I don't kill bugs
[x] I curse. (Unfortunately. I am NOT making a habit of it!)
[ ] I have an "x" in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped and fell in public. (D:)
[x] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation. (Must be rid of it.)
[ ] I love Spam. (Never tried it!)
[ ] I bake well. (Only brownies. :P)
[ ] I have worn pajamas to class.
[ ] I have owned something from Abercrombie.
[ ] I want a better job.
[ ] Talked on a phone for 6+ hours. (Around five only. Gosh the phone was HOT and my ear felt sizzled.)
[ ] I love Dr. Phil.
[x] I like multiple people. (I like loads of people!)
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS. (I was young. Well I still am but I was youngER.)
[x] I am self-conscious. (Around some people.)
[x] I love to laugh.
[ ] I have smoked a pack in one day.
[ ] I loved Lord of the Flies. (Well I liked it, once I got over the spooky cover.)
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills. (Sometimes I gag on them!!!)
[ ] I have a lot of scars.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. (Or cockroach. Or beetle.)
[x] I love chocolate. (During NCO camp ma'am gave us this slab of 75% dark chocolate and it was gone by the next lecture.)
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I am not comfortable with being me. (Okay I'm too tired to go into ideological stuff but I will think about it when I'm more awake.)
[x] I play computer games when I'm bored. (Sometimes.)
[x] Gotten lost in the city. (Not for long.)
[x] Thought of suicide before. (NOT OF MINE, just in general.)
[ ] Seen a shooting star.
[ ] Had a menage a trois.
[ ] Gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] Have kissed someone really strange. (CHURCHILL, BELOVED DOG OF MS LEOW.)
[ ] Hugged a stranger.
[ ] Been in a bloody fist fight with someone of a diff. sex.
[ ] Been in a fist fight.
[ ] Been arrested.
[ ] Laughed and had some type of beverage come out of my nose. (GAHAHA TEESH.)
[ ] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] Made out in an elevator.
[ ] Swore at Liberace.
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts on purpose
[ ] Been skydiving.
[ ] Been bungee jumping.
[ ] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[x] Bitten someone. (When I felt like it. o:)
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] Gotten the chicken pox.
[ ] Crashed into a car.
[x] Been to Japan. (And loved it.)
[x] Ridden in a taxi. (I'm always trying not to sleep in taxis but I end up doing so anyway; I've been so conditioned to get rest whenever I can.)
[ ] Shoplifted.
[ ] Been fired.
[ ] Stole something from your job.
[ ] Gone on a blind date.
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher/coach.
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] Been to Europe. (Italy, Switzerland, London (counted?!), Amsterdam (HAHA stopover), Wales, Ireland)
[ ] Slept with a co-worker, and/or employee.
[ ] Been to New York
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[x] Saw someone/something dying. (Various stuffs. ): )
[ ] Have a list of people you want to kill.
[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada.
[x] Been on a plane.
[ ] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ ] Thrown up in a bar or club.
[x] Eaten sushi. (:D)
[ ] Been snowboarding.
[ ] Taken a picture just for the sole purpose of putting it on myspace/friendster/facebook
[x] Been ice skating
[x] Cried in public.
[ ] Walked purposely into traffic with your eyes closed.
[ ] Been at a party and instead of giving out your phone number you give them your myspace name and say look me up.
[x] Thought of someone a lot lately. (Always.)
[ ] Hate the world.
[ ] Love LIKE someone who doesnt realize it. (Er I'm not sure.)
[ ] Have your cell phone permanently attached to your hand/hip

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 11:28 PM

Less is More.

Today I woke up with the inclination to wear a skirt instead of jeans...and well, considering the number of places I went today, I guess I'm kind of glad that I complied.

I'm glad I went for the talk. Nick Vuijic is a really good speaker. His points made so much sense and are so inspiring - he himself is a case in point. I walked out of the place feeling more certain of the ground beneath my feet than I had in weeks.

If I am born with no arms and legs to send one more soul to heaven, I have fulfilled the will and purpose of God. - Nick Vuijic

Really, really awesome.

It's amazing how things work out as they did...I was praying all throughout the day, whether consciously or unconsciously, and it came true. Note to self: It always comes true whenever it's a true prayer. Every single time. Everything happens for a purpose.

(With reference to my lj post but that's not for everyone to see)

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 9:38 PM

Saturday, November 08, 2008

What matters most is that we loved at all.

It's not how long we held each other's hand - what matters is how well we loved each other. It's not how far we travelled on our way; of what we found to say. It's not the spring you see, but all the shades of green.

<3!

Where dreams were made; 10:20 PM

Lead Camp & NCO Camp '08!

Lead camp was insightful. When I first knew about it I thought it was going to be absolutely boring...but it was very much tot he contrary. bUG was..um..unique. XD I like my group a lot! We are a weird bunch, but that's okay. On the last day we sang an adaptation of Pass It On which made us laugh so badly, especially when Yin Leng went into her Yin Leng mode...it was fun. (: I had fun.

But honestly, NCO camp directly after Lead camp wasn't such a good idea...I was still very much in the Lead Camp mood. And extremely tired. But I got to sleep in my Lead shirt (with Qian Yu) so that was a little comforting. Well NCO camp was really really funny. And bedtime was very...interesting and very personal. 'Nough said. ;)

---

We were trying to resolve the last cream puff, and so started a game of scissors paper stone. After a few rounds we still could not come to a resolution, so Yin Leng suggested, "Why don't we just cut out the stone and have scissors and paper instead? What's the use of the stone anyway?"

We stared at her.

Someone (can't remember who, sorry!): Alright then, why don't we all put scissors and YOU put paper then??

..Classic moment. One of the best moments of Lead Camp, including when Claire threw up her marshmallow to catch with her mouth and scared Soffia so badly she screamed. Seriously, you had to be there.

And I'm VERY glad I brought my cam this time round, I got loads of interesting photos. ;)

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 8:41 PM

Thursday, November 06, 2008

And still somehow, it's love's illusions I recall.

Will post about lead camp when it's all over...and NCO camp as well, I suppose.

In hindsight it's actually quite amusing. I must learn to control my expressions better...it's getting way too unnerving for me everytime I receive smses on my hp.

Fantastic cover of Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now by Hayley Westenra. I like her cover better, somehow the soulful tune of the violin gives it depth and just a tinge of sadness and regret, and her voice lends it the sweet playfulness that Joni Mitchell's one lacks.

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 9:20 PM

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Paint a picture-perfect smile.

It's very disorienting to fall asleep in a humid, stuffy, slightly thunder-y world and wake up in a bright world like a canvas freshly washed and repainted in bright, wet colours. Where egrets walk calmly in rivulets of water to cross to the other side of the path. Where the breeze is calm and cold, and the sky is awash with pale shades of blue.

Almost as though my bus is a transition between Worlds. Well, maybe it is!

It wasn't as bad as I had expected. They definitely moderated something, maybe chemistry, because my calculated GPA using my marks doesn't remotely touch anywhere near the GPA I got. I know - I rechecked it. Thrice.

Well it's enough to make me feel relieved, and enough to make me feel guilty still. So next year I'm going to make sure that every subject goes up by at least one grade. (:

The best part of being in the same class for two years is that you don't have to say goodbye. Well, not yet anyway. No more worrying that you would be placed in a class which you would not like, since you know exactly the people in your class. (Except for the fact that I won't be able to ever be in the same class as a person anymore. I guess that year was my only year!) It's so good to know that you'd see all those people congregated in the same classroom again.

It doesn't even feel like the last day of the school year, except for the progress reports. Mostly it's the prospect of having to go to school for the next three days, and then staying overnight for another day. It doesn't really count as holidays unless you don't have to come to school at all.

(Nor have homework, but that's a different idealistic definition altogether.)

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 4:44 PM

Monday, November 03, 2008

I've never saw a blue like that before.

Edit: CREDITS DUE. Photo taken by Equine. From now on, due to privacy issues I will be posting some of the more personal posts on my lj. http://bless-luna.livejournal.com/ Yes, I'm reinstating it. :D And it will be 99.9% friends-locked, so add me and I'll add you back. (:

I've got my tablet already! :D I can't wait to unwrap it and try it out, but I'm too lazy to install Photoshop into my lappy. I'll do it tomorrow.

Worried about my progress report, but nellie's right - no point worrying about it now. All there's left to do is pray. But honestly, I don't want to be reminded of the extent of my failure this year. So. GPA funeral. Must be held SOON.

Well we've been talking. I guess, at this point of time all we can do is talk, and remember all the words we've said, so that when we finally become someone in the world we can put those words into action. This world is extremely screwed, but that doesn't mean that we have to resign ourselves to it. It may be terribly warped, but that just means that there is always room for improvement. (:

Today we took a walk up the street,

We picked a flower and climbed a hill above the lake

Secret thoughts, you said aloud,

We watched the faces in the clouds

Until the clouds have blown away

Were we ever somewhere else you know

It's hard to say

I never saw a blue like that before

Across the sky, around the world

You're giving me all you have and more

No one else has ever shown me how

To see the world the way I see it now, oh I

I never saw a blue like that

I can't believe

A month ago I was alone

I didn't know you, I've never seen you, or heard your name

And even now, I'm so amazed it's like a dream

It's like a rainbow, it's like the rain

Some things are the way they are and words just can't explain

It feels like now, it feels always,

And it feels like coming home

Love this song.

A little Wales-sick

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 10:17 PM

Saturday, November 01, 2008

& it's open and endless as love is.

I've been thinking.

Which I think, fundamentally, is one of my greatest problems. Thinking too much, I mean. I can't even trust my thinking anymore! They are just too biased that even I know they are too biased without people telling me.

Well, we talked about being an only child. And I've got to agree - we're pretty introspective, yet introspective in a narrow way because we just keep thinking about the same issues, having no other perspective or opinion to intrude into our thoughts. And then, with another newly found only child (who expressed great surprise at finding out that I was an only child too), we find that we talk to ourselves. A lot. XD Seeing as we spend the most time with ourselves alone, we start holding monologues. Or conversations with our other self...whosoever that other self is.

(HAHA I just engaged in a weird sms dispute, it was cutely random. And hardly resolved. o:)

But it leads to a lot of problems! Well in my case. My monologues have evolved to imaginery conversations with different people, in different scenarios, which have mutated to role-playing highly impossible yet plausible stories, and then it became entirely subconscious to a level where I would just start doing weird stuff on the street when I'm on my own. Or on the bus. Or in any place when my brain starts getting bored. It's a terrible habit.

Everybody whom I've introduced myself to keep asking me to spell my name. It's...weird. It needs some getting used to. But right now I'm reveling in the novelty. (:

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 10:45 PM