Monday, December 31, 2007
Mom: I told y'all so many times, put down the toilet lid! Everytime I come here the toilet lid is always up!
Me: Why are you scolding me?! I'm not the one who urinates while standing up!
...Touche.
FIVE MORE HOURS TO 2008!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh why am I so excited.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:59 PM
THIS SHALL BE THE LAST POST OF THE YEAR 2007.
And my, what a year it has been...so many events worth remembering and being sentimental about, and many more events that I can remember and be embarassed about. Ha. I grew a lot this year, really, focusing more on what I need to do and not what I have to do to please people. It's easier to be judgemental and biased and irrational and passionate for all the wrong reasons but when you wake up from that hazed dream you feel so....unfulfilled. Did I get fulfilled this year? In some ways, not in others; more disappointments than expected, but in a way it is for the best after all.
A week ago I felt that I had so much time....so much time to just ramble on about what I think. Then suddenly 2007 is hurtling past and I can only go, "I AM GETTING OLD." Because I am! And because, also, that we are all growing up and suddenly the world is opening up to us...people expect us to do superhuman feats because they think that, since they did it at OUR age we will be able to do it too.....but they seem to have forgotten fear, disappointment, trepidation. I suppose once we've taken that leap it would seem much more exhilarating and fun but at this present moment it seems really scary. And daunting. Can I really live up to who people think I am?
(I can't believe that I just typed out two utterly worrisome paragraphs. I bet you guys just skipped all those lengthy paras and go to the short sentences.
I need more paragraphs! But my fingers like to wander about.)
Am having a conversation that takes about five minutes a sentence. I would like to tell Noelle but I'm not sure if he's back yet...he'll understand. And tell me casually that I'm in luck, at least it's just five minutes, it used to take seven....
Hello 2008! I am pleased to have you just outside my door waiting for the appropriate moment to announce your presence. Patiently waiting for the year to dump its load and take its toll on me...it's better to age gracefully than not age at all. (I should've reserved that sentence for when I'm 50.)
Everybody, fight on! See you in 2008!
Rayne
It may or may not be the last post of 07, depending on my mood. And what my fingers want to type.
Where dreams were made; 2:42 PM
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sometimes I get so ahead of myself. Sometimes my overbearing, domineering, demanding loud side takes over and I behave like a spoilt brat. It gets so much harder to say what I feel.
What I want to say is:
I want to see you. I want to talk to you, to hug you, to see you smile. I want to listen to you relate all your weird experiences this holiday. I'm sorry I can't meet you tomorrow. I'm sorry that I'm not in your class next year. I really, really really really wanted to be, but I'm not, and that can't be changed.
I just needed to get that out. Sometimes I keep contradicting myself, and then I make myself confused, and then I don't know what I mean exactly anymore.
At times I sprout (OR SPOUT, WHATEVER YOU SAY JX) the weirdest things that do not coincide with my thoughts at all.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:44 PM
Now I have Imogen Heap's Speeding Cars, courtesy of Sarah and Mika's Lollipop, courtesy of Gracey running through my head at alternate points. And somehow in my subconscious they managed to blend and so now I have Mika's high gay voice singing Speeding Cars. Which somehow doesn't sound so bad.
It's December 27! Noel's coming back in 3 days' time! Which is kind of weird, I have this feeling that he would be gone forever and suddenly pop back into my life when I am 21 wearing his custom-made suits. LOL. Well I never got to wish him merry christmas so I shall wish him a happy new year. ;D
On another note. It's kind of sad when people can only be happy when they have their material wants fulfilled. I was talking to my mom last night and I haven't even mentioned the word about material goods; I was thinking more of the soul and immediately she said, "Yeah, well if I have the money and get whatever I want, I would be happy."
I sent a prayer to God last night to allow me to keep my ideals even when I grow up. It frightens me. It's scary when you think that when you grow up, you get so tied with this world that you forget your inner self. That you judge your friends on not who they are but where they come from and whether they would be of use to you. That you judge a person first by how much money he or she has. I was so happy a few days ago just being able to spend Christmas Eve with my cousins. In ten years down the road would I think it being a hassle? Would I go there grudgingly and hide myself in a corner reading my own books? Or would there even be a celebration at all?
In ten years' time, I want to be able to go back to this blog and see what I've written. To allow myself to remember what I was like at this period of time, to remember my goals, my ideals, and what I cherish above all. It is no use being attached to the material world, because I've tasted true satisfaction and happiness, and they have nothing to do with money.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 2:52 PM
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Desperation leads to strange measures. Why do I get the feeling that I'm forcing myself? But for something I yearn, something I want to achieve, no matter how impossible that is.....
There are times when I feel so painfully naive and awkward. Almost as though I don't really belong in that scene, but am forced to continue with it until it reaches a natural ending. Sometimes I feel slighted, even for the littlest things, and I get so upset over it.
That's desperation. It pushes me to read too much into things, insert in layers of hidden meaning into the most innocent words, gestures, movements, until sometimes I lose the whole context of it all together. Sometimes I go completely off the rail that I laugh at myself when I'm alright again.
Some people tend to romanticize everything that they are in contact with. I am no exception, but at least I can pull myself back to earth, no matter how painful it can be.
Where dreams were made; 6:11 PM
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY.
Haha, you won't believe this. Today when I checked my phone it said: Message waiting. Please delete some messages. So I deleted some, then my phone buzzed once to let me know that the sms has arrive. (I put it on silent mode.) THEN it buzzed again. And again. And again. And again. And again...!!!!!!
I counted, I recieved over SEVEN smses today wishing me a merry christmas. First time I got so many smses in one sitting! Hahahaha I'm so happy. I don't know why but I am just very happy. THANK YOU ALL AND MERRY CHIRSTMAS TOO!
Met with my cousins yesterday. It's a pity that we couldn't play Xbox because WJ was too lazy to bring it up to the second floor, but Alvin's DS was very very fun. Even WJ got hooked which is saying a lot...he always like those games that have action and requires speed and fast reflexes. And then he gets so happy over getting a bonus...XD Very cute. (I hope he doesn't read this. He will kill me later for that.)
Sparklers are so pretty. They are so bright and loud and a little too demanding, but somehow you just can't help but like them. Even as I say this I detest them a little too. They chase away the darkness, true, but they suffocate you with their heavy smoke instead....they demand all your attention, good or bad. You must only look at them, only play with them. I got distracted by a phone call and that stubborn sparkler burnt my hand.
That night the moon was shrouded by wispy clouds. I pointed that out to Sarah and she went, "Uh oh..." and looked at me with eyes as large as saucers...she did that in Malaysia too! As thought predicting an ominous event would take place. And suddenly I remember the stories that WJ and Xue Lin told us and....then that call came and I forgot about my fears. It's a bit anti-climax but better than scaring myself silly.
PRESENTS. For some reason people forgot that I don't have earholes, so I recieved many earrings this year...My best unofficial present came from my mom who bought me this AMAZING artbook on how to shade and draw realistic animals. It costed a bomb but it's so amazing...I just keep turning the pages in awe. I WANT TO DRAW LIKE THAT TOO. Gasp. :O My best official present came from Xue Lin's family. They gave me a long necklace because my aunt remembered that in Bintan I was looking for a long necklace. The pendant's a huge crucifix. It's very pretty, but my mom doesn't really like it because it looks a little gothic. But I like it. Arigatou gouzaimasu...hondoni hondoni daisuki desu ne!
..But I think, all in all, that this year's presents were nicer than last year. But last year's was hilarious. Xiao Yi bought the girls UNDERWEAR. Yes, underwear, that were cute and had heart-shapes all over, and were at least a size small. How do we fit in it?!?!?!?!??!?! We were all laughing our heads off. Maybe she intended it for a prop, or a costume jewellery, like people using baby socks to put their handphones in them. We ought to wear them on our heads in place of hats! Or tie it around our wrists like a bracelet! Or we could tie them together and wear them as a belt! How useful are tiny underwear? Very useful! And cute too!
Sheena wore a very cute hat yesterday because she was fretting over her hairline. It's a very nice hat!!! It's black felt (I think), a little puffy and looks very trendy and nice on her. Sarah tried it on but it only resembled a black cream puff. The Hat Chooseth Its Owner. Try saying that with a straight face.
Aaah, today my fingers are very talkative. I finished Coffee Prince! More on that later. I just drank the white coffee we bought from Malaysia. It was very good, better than those that my father bought. (I picked that one to buy.)
Signing off.
Where dreams were made; 3:07 PM
Sunday, December 23, 2007
GOSH I AM SPROUTING NONSENSE SOMEONE SHOOT ME NOWWWWWWWW.
D:
Rayne
Mom: Not in the foot! But in the mouth!
Me: What.
Where dreams were made; 9:19 PM
OH GOSH I'M SEEING THEM TOMORROW.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
And also it'll be my first trip back to school in ages. But we'll all be back in Jan 2nd, how's that! Time flies by so fast.
I can hardly wait to see them agaaaaain. How my mind flits about. But tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow! And after that I'll be quite despondent again. With me there are ups and downs. And with my mind there are loops and pitholes.
Threethirteen. Then fourthirteen. I want to get to love that class. It's okay if I don't have Sarah, or Nancy or Gracey or JX or Muni in my class, I will hold up somehow. I must hold up somehow. I had once said that I leave this up to God and He has blessed me with an amazing class this year. And it will not be that bad....I have my Jessie in my class and SR too. Or so I say.
JX DID YOU SEE WHO WILL BE MY FORM TEACHER NEXT YEAR. :O
I shiver.
Is this an ominous sign or what....
Man, I need love now. I wish I can store love in a bottle. Then when I need it I will open it up a teeny bit and let the warm feeling wash over me. If I can store love in a bottle it'll be something like marshmallow clouds. Hearts are too stereotypical. Anyway you can't eat a heart and feel all warm and fuzzy all over.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:10 PM
I shan't go over the nasty details of our holiday - one of which the hotel room, if it can be even called a hotel, or at least part of it, but rather the nice, the funny and the best of it.
So firstly even though the room was terrible and worse than mine, the view on the other hand is beautiful. Even if it is obscured by the stupid condotels (condominium hotels). But you can just look straight, and look afar, and it is so pretty....the mountain in the distance was covered with a blanket of mist and the lake was shimmering.
We went to Cowboy Town and, at the end of the dinner, heard booms outside. Someone - Xiao Yi, I think - screamed, "Fireworks!" and before I knew it, I was running outside to watch the fireworks. They were practically exploding in our faces; they were that close. The fireworks were enormous! Simon got scared and hid his face in his jacket, but I was entranced. I took two photos of them though, I was so busy watching them afterwards. Couldn't steady my hand enough.
And I knew I shouldn't laugh at WJ when he got beaten by the whack-o machine and it yelled, "You are a wimp!" because he's much stronger than me but it was that funny to see him staggering around holding the hammer and whacking the metal plate like a drunk. Whoops. Ha.
The second day was AMAZING. We went to WaterWorld. The Lazy Pool and the Wave Pool was predictable but the Lazy Pool wasn't fast, it was too lazy. You couldn't even feel the current. They managed to coerce me into going on the slides which I have never tried because I was too scared. Sarah sat on my lap and we both went down together. After the first few seconds I was able to open my eyes and enjoy it. Amazingly it wasn't as fast as I expected. It was FUN. I can't remember what I said but I must have sprouted my mouth off. Haha.
That slide was the open one. So I decided to go for the covered one with Xue Lin. Apparently it was supposed to be dark and everything but the cover was less opaque and blue from the sunlight. And after a while it became an open air one!! Huh. So the next real covered slide that I went, I went with Sarah. Now this one was more fun. It was completely dark inside, I couldn't even see Sarah's head in front of mine. Sarah started screaming and screaming and I yelled, "What are you screaming for?!" and she said something like "I got my alps!" (Huh????) Once we were out of the slide I staggered around for a while feeling very dizzy. But it was very very fun. I went on it a lot. Surprisingly the men didn't go on the slides as much as the girls did....they just loafed around watching us go again and again on the slides. Haha!
Photos later!
Rayne
When I came back I couldn't stop my knees from shaking. I don't think that the slides made me tired...it's more like climbing all the stairs to take them.
Where dreams were made; 9:59 AM
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Some people just don't understand the capacity for dreaming. They think it is merely a waste of time, or having your head up in the clouds. They don't comprehend that it's not a want, or something you do when you are bored, but a need. They think it's all fluff and fancy and things that would not happen in real life but they can be wrong.
You see, thoughts are the basic foundation to what you achieve. You have to think of achieving something first before setting yourself to doing it. Being able to dream allows you to envision what may be. And in dreaming it gives you hope.
I don't think that these people cannot dream. Maybe when they were young they had dreamt, too, of things that were never to be. Maybe they had not dreamt for so long that they had forgotten how to, had forgotten the exhilaration, the joy of having boundless opportunities to work with that in reality, we may scoff at being impractical. Nothing is impossible when you dream, when you imagine, when the whole world is open at your whim and the only limit is the amount of time you have for dreaming before someone rudely brings you back into the real world.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 10:20 AM
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I don't really know how to phrase this in words, but I'll try.
Recently I have been regretting some things I have done. They were in the past, committed by the impulsive, headstrong me - but me nevertheless, and...I wonder, would things be different if I had gone about a different approach? But it's too late. We can't get back that window in the past, can only see our ghosts of our past selves and torment ourselves with them.
The more I grow up, the more I find that I don't really understand the world, and that I don't really understand the people around me. In theory, yes - of course, what we learn in school, but to put it to real application I find that I am at a loss. Realistically the world is much harsher than I have known. Is that why grown ups are so cynical? They say that they are being realistic - which is true, but I want to keep that idealism in me, to buoy me up whenever the world consumes who I really am. As I grow up the people around me are not three-dimensional, not just a name any more, but start to take on facets, layers, and as I know more about them I wish I don't, after all.
It's almost as though for my first few years I've been standing at a distance observing this masterpiece. Beautiful colours, vibrant, such that the painting seems almost alive. As I walk closer it starts to seem a little different, until when I look at it closely, not more than a metre away, the details are grotesque, monstrous, and the colours are gaudy, and I start to wonder if the materials have blood as its main ingredient, and the canvas of powdered stone.
I might be exaggerating a little, but....this is much of how I feel. Except that this feeling comes in waves and waves, washing over me, plummeting me. It's harder now because somehow I can't hear anything, no matter how soft the voice is, telling me that it's okay.
And this may sound emo to you but I promise you it isn't. Emo is when the world is dark and covered in drapes of black. My world at this present moment is just silent. Silent, and watching.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:11 PM
Monday, December 17, 2007
I love this word: Apocalypse. By itself it already sounds rather tribal, a little sinister, a little grotesque...a. pock. ka. lips. Somehow it reminds me of a wild animal, hairless, slithery with too many limbs to spare, yet not really slimy or clammy. Its muscles are supple and taut, agile, lithe, with a tail to keep balance - wary and intelligent, with a wry gleam in its eyes. Not feral; just wild. It cannot be tamed.
Hmm...I would love to sketch this creature.
It's middle english, actually, originating from late latin Apocalypsis. But one of its meanings hailed from Greek apokalupsis - revelation. And yet itself is a huge bundle of contradictions. It can mean a prophetic revelation, especially concerning a cataclysm in which the forces of good permanently triumph over the forces of evil. But it can also mean any universal or widespread destruction or disaster.
So can you imagine yourself in a movie-like scenario, where the city is zombie-infested and you and your friend are hiding in your house. She decides to go out to take a look, quickly runs back after a few minutes and screams, "It's an apocalypse!" And let's pretend that your friend is Botoxed and you can't read any emotion from her face...You'll probably be wondering which meaning is it? Hahahaha. But of course it won't happen.....not in this specific sense anyway.
Rayne
(Guess which show I've been watching? ;D)
Where dreams were made; 2:15 PM
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Today I logged online, went to my blog, and the first word that came to my mind when I scrolled down was: Agony.
Yes. Agony.
(Um, for those whose rant-radar is not finely tuned, if you are allergic to rants, please leave. For those whose rant-radar are tuned to the precise frequency, congratulations! You have escaped the - oh wait, you've fled already.)
Where was I? Oh yes. Seems to me that ever since the holidays started my blog has been reduced to a mess of MSN conversations, ridiculous and nonsensical and (often) childish posts. That's all! No thought-provoking monologues, no whimiscal dreams - nothing. AND while Min Yee has started a whole new blog (whoo) with conversations about the Wry and the Weird and the Sick, I, on the other hand, has degenerated to stupid posts.
Like this one! Isn't it ironic?
While I promised Noelle that I will be dreaming, more than usual because he left for India and his custom made clothes, my dreams have been - let's say, not so profound. It's more of fantasies and, er.....let's leave it as that.
Please, don't ask.
It's kinda hard to have thoughtful posts when the people you interact with are down-to-earth, forty-ish people who are nice but do not have the slightest speck of whimsy in them.
End of rant. For those who have been cowering under the table, it is safe to come out now.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:09 PM
Friday, December 14, 2007
If schools emphasize so much on time management and deadlines so much, WHY can't they get this simple thing right?
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
it's SIX and it's not up!
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
gosh, they lied to us! D:
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
6.01 now.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
...I must be the only person counting down the seconds to them posting the combis.
Cz. says:
waaaah~
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
BAD ADMIN. D<
Cz. says:
maybe they forgot.
Cz. says:
or there's no one at school.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
the person who posts the results should give us some compensation.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
a dollar every second
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
for the precious time wasted sitting in front of our coms waiting for our combis.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
there SHOULD be some people at school.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
...strictly speaking.
Cz. says:
i feel pretty stupid, but I'm checking all sorts of random areas related to sec 2 and 3
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
haha, so'm I!
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
they are waaaay late/
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
gosh, I feel like whining. D:
Cz. says:
I feel like spamming the GO with calls lol.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
LOL
Cz. says:
the parents/adults may have forgotten about it, but the students haven't!
Cz. says:
well, not all students actually know the thing is supposedly today >_>
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
<_<
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
only the kiasu ones like us. glued to our coms
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
BUT who asked them to release it so late
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
true.
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
my mom's like, "They probably went on holiday."
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
HAHAHA
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
yeah.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
and forgot all about the results
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
DDD:
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
I keep refreshing the page. :/
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
mmhm.
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
i move back and forth between the main page and the students one.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
ME TOO
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
argh
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
i wonder how many people are doin it
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
*doing
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
do you think the site would crash?
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
nah...
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
I'm sure RGS has enough servers to handle the whole school population.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
yeah, right, like the site didn't crash before when it came to important results.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
..speaking of which, it ONLY crashes when it comes to important results.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
or voting
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
or stuff like that
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
basically something important
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
whut.
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
graarhhrhrhrarfhsdf
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
we REALLY should demand compensation for our frazzled nerves.
6.42 pm
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
argh, half an hour and still none put up
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
I really think they're off somewhere.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
WTH
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
not up?!
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
I want to kill these people
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
same here.
Cz. I'D [c=4]REALLY[/c] LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
graar
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
RAWR
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
GOOD GRIEF
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
can't they even stick to a stupid schedule??
Cz. I'D [b][c=4]REALLY[/c][/b] LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
emphasis on really.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
haha yeah
Cz. I'D [b][c=4]REALLY[/c][/b] LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
they did give us that paper like....veeery, veeery long ago...
Cz. I'D [b][c=4]REALLY[/c][/b] LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
maybe they did forget.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
:O
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
NO WAI
Cz. I'D [b][c=4]REALLY[/c][/b] LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
if it's not up by 7, then I'm giving up and going off to bathe.
Cz. I'D [b][c=4]REALLY[/c][/b] LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
i wonder if there are any parents who'll complain.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
I wonder.
Rayne; C'est la vie says:
but if there were any they would've put it up already
Cz. I'D LIKE MY SUBJECT COMBINATION NOW THANKS! says:
yeah...
ARGH POST IT UP ALREADY. Isn't it bad enough that you make us wait until 6pm?!
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:51 PM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Good grief. As the days progressed I am gradually losing my sanity and my motivation. The days cannot progress any slower and yet cannot progress any faster...... if I make sense at all.
Let me list down the things that I would like to have to curb the boredom:
1. A good book, which for some reason is very very hard to find in my house that has not be read for at least five times;
2. MSN chatting buddies, since Noelle has flown to india and won't be back till Jan (that does not mean I'm reliant on you, Monsieur);
3. MOTIVATION TO DO MY PRESSING NEEDS;
4. Friends (it's not that I don't have 'em, it's just that I have no one to talk to besides binkee);
5. And so on and so forth.
AND FRIENDS WHO UPDATE THEIR BLOGS REGULARLY, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
That'll be all.
I tell you, I'm so bored I'm going into mood swings just to see how interesting I can make them be. Besides the usual emo-ing and highness. I need colour. I need fun. I need SNOW. Ha.
Isn't there ANYTHING interesting to do in the holidays? Besides going out because I can't go out at the present moment.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 1:04 PM
Monday, December 10, 2007
Me: Papa, did you buy banana?
Dad: No.
Mom: No.
Me: ...I smell banana.
Dad: So do I.
After a little while...
Mom: I smell it too.
Mom: ...when you smell banana does it mean that someone's cooking it?
Me: But you don't smell the oil.
Mom: It might not be the REAL banana...
Me: ...then what, banana-flavoured air freshener?
Mom: No, essence...like vanilla essence...or banana essence...
And why didn't I think of that?
Hooray for good, sense-ical (I mean sensible) people.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 1:45 PM
If my blog can be as quaint and funny and as odd as Binkee's, or as cuttingly witty as someonewhoIwillnotmentionhere, or as truthful and emo as Gracey's, or as entertainingly dreamy and vague as Nancy's, I'm sure I will be a very happy person.
...or so I think.
But 'tis okay, I will delight into my weirdly misfit blog and its weird colours a day from now, I just need some time to mope today.
Rojak's the word I've been encountering this few days. Or weeks.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 1:37 PM
Mom: Should I buy the tofu?
Me: For what???
Mom: Well, she put it on the list.
Me: Yes, but still...
Mom: Okay, I shan't buy it then.
-----
Mom: But what do I tell her?
Me: Tell her that-that...that your inner conscience objected to your buying of tofu.
Mom: But why?!
Me: What do you mean why, consciences cannot be explained.
-----
Mom: Okay, so I'll tell her that the they didn't have the hangers I wanted, they were sold out.
Me: Yeah, and tell her that the tofu was sold out too.
Mom: WHAT?!
Me: And the fishcakes.
Mom: ....You are a bad girl. BAD.
TOFUUUUUUUU. So what if my inner conscience is screaming that there are things that I need to worry about? Tofu's the main subject here.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 1:26 PM
Saturday, December 08, 2007
How can ONE THING that you love to do be so hard?!?!
And I continue to flatter myself every single day.
THIS IS BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD.
Where dreams were made; 9:38 AM
It's almost like I've been disappearing lately.
Everytime I go to That Place it's foreign, yet it's part of my own. I don't recognise the people there. My only beacon of light is fading rapidly and sometimes I don't even see it, obscured beneath a layer of fog, a layer of dust, a layer of smart and witty monologues.
I have always believed in the power of rebounding and your bouncability but this is taking it a little too far for my comfort. Then again we have always believed in going past our boundaries, no?
This string might just grow lax one day.
And the last thing you would want me to do is to type this post out --but I can't stand it, I can't stand not knowing what you're doing, whether you're thinking of me as often as I am of you.
It's a vicious cycle. And guess what? I'm not doing anything to stop it.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:25 AM
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Notice how I love to use conversations that features Noel. It's just something about them (the conversations) that make me laugh very very hard. But do convey a teeny bit of truth.
I ought to give Noelle his own column. Haha.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
I want some time to prepare myself, thank you
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
or I will just do the same thing I did the last time I saw ____ unexpectedly in ______
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
which is what.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
run and hide!?
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
no!
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
then
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
turn and pretend to scrutinize something really closely, all the while ignoring _____
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
;p
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
oh dear.
.
.
.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
so if you were there and _________ pops up unexpectedly I will drag you along to survey the dustbin
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
and its many properties.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
i'd like to see you drag me.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
;p
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
oh, I will find a way.
Aaand then, he says -
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
actually
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
if you tried to drag me.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
i'd twist the grip and instead stand there looking really dimwittish till _________ comes whilst you futilely attempt to hide somewhere
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
still attached to my arm.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
or shirt
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i]) amber light says:
or whatever
SO ROUGH.
I will like to see you do that to me.
AND DON'T YOU DARE DO ANYTHING.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:03 PM
Monday, December 03, 2007
Okay, I'm bored now, there's nothing to do except read _____'s blog and, though I will never admit it, it's very amusing. And interesting.
(How can one person make everyone else, including me which I am pretty sure ___ has never heard before feel inferior, I have no idea.)
So I will just go over the nicest and most interesting points of our whole holiday trip a few days back.
On the second day we went to the beach in the morning. The sea was all waves and foam, beautiful and wild and totally out of control. We just stood as far as my aunt would let us (she starts to shout at us whenever we inch out too far) and let the waves slam against us. Surprisingly the waves were pretty strong and it was kind of cold, too, so we stood there shivering for a while before sitting down on the sand. (The sea was warmer.)
Baaad idea.
WJ and I sat down while my mom was still standing. Standing up and letting the waves pound you is vastly different from sitting down. After a few minutes we both scrambled up.
WJ: I don't want to sit down anymore.
Mom: What? Why not!
Me: You want to try?
The thing was, when you sit down, you feel the sand being pulled away under your butt. While this has a pleasant sensation when you are standing up, because it tickles your toes gently, this feels like the sand underneath your butt is giving way and you end up having a very irregular shape of sand to sit on. (By the way, while this is happening, a lot of sand gets into your clothes - for us, swimwear - and it feels darn uncomfortable when you move around later.) AND THEN, there are the waves. Standing up you don't get buffeted around easily, but sitting down, ah, that is a different story althogether. Water gets into your nose, your mouth, your ears, and all you can see, feel or taste is water, water, and in the last case, salt.
For a while we retreated to a flat rock near the shallower parts of the shore to catch our breath. Then later we went back to be plummeted and -literally- kicked around by the waves.
It was darned fun.
So after the beach we went to the pool to cool off, and then back upstairs to bathe. Afterwards it was quite boring, we went out of the resort to a place called Oleh-oleh to have lunch, and then to another place which I can't remember the name of. Very very boring, virtually nothing to do there. When we decided to go to The Other Place Whose Name I Can't Remember, we were escorted into this van which looked very comfy - but appearances can be decieving.
WJ and I sat at the back and the adults in the front. The back was quite cramped and there wasn't enough space for us to put our legs, so we had to be in a slanted position. The road was long and rocky, and we went to sleep half-way through. When I woke up my arms and shoulders were VERY sore. Argh. The return journey was worse; it was very dark and the driver had to keep switching from low headlights to high - Click, click, click.
Me: What's the point of having streetlights if they don't work in the dark.
Someone:...Conserve energy?
Pffft. It was very scary. The road was winding and treachrous with barely enough light to see where we were heading. We were lucky that our driver was experienced enough.
When we got back everybody just slumped on their beds. When I went over to WJ's room later he and my dad were already underneath the covers watching America's Next Top Model. (In seperate beds.)
(If you ask me the second day was quite a waste of time...we didn't really get to do anything fun.)
And I'm bored again so I'll continue this at a later date. My mind keeps wandering.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 5:11 PM
So here I was happy and contented with the world, and then -
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
well.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
i make around $500-700 worth of tailormade clothes in india every year.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
so i go there to get my yearly wardrobe.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
of sorts
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
hahhaha
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
....o.O
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
tailormade?!
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
as in, custom?
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
yepyep
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
NO WAI
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
this time i think i shall make a suit.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
i need one for my concerts.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
what no wai.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
D:
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
with coat tails?
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
there are millions of tailors in india
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
um, no.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
hey, how come I don't have that kind of luxury?
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
CUSTOM MADE CLOTHES!
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
because you ain't Indian.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
FOR A GUY!
A SUIT. IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT. A SUIT.
...I want to be a guy. D:
Okay, just partly. But a suit?! Custom-made?! WHAT the. And he does it every year. EVERY YEAR.
I sound really materialistic don't I. A few days ago I was raging about the commonwealth essay - righteous indignation, actually - and now I'm raging about custom-made suits. Ha. My brain needs a break.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
i limit myself to online mischief.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
so to speak
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
ah.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
AH.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
THAT EXPLAINS A LOG.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
!?!??!
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
*A LOT
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
HHAHA
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
A LOG
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
OMG
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
WHOOPS.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
I am going into spastic silent laughs
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
oh, so the log is still another unexplained mystery of the universe unanswerable by science, religion and chuck norris?
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
D:
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
oh shuuuush
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
*and/or
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
I can't laugh out loud
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
shhhh.
Rayne; Go, Going, Gone. says:
gimme some time to recover.
[b]`Shillie'[/b]([i]PSL[/i])[i]always the first one down[/i] so let's pretend it never mattered says:
D: it's not a good idea to bottle up my spasticity
Hmm, we're both spastic, you and I.
But you gotta admit, Noelle, that explains A LOT .
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 3:44 PM
Saturday, December 01, 2007
I was dancin' with my darlin'
To the Tennessee Waltz
When an old friend I happened to see
I introduced her to my loved one
And while they were dancin'
My friend stole my sweetheart from me
I remember the night and the Tennessee Waltz
Now I know just how much I have lost
Yes, I lost my little darlin'
The night they were playing
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz
I love songs with a story behind them. It infuses so much meaning into the music, into the vocals that it transcends it to an entirely new dimension.
If you understand what I mean.
I'm still moping but that's okay, SARAH'S BACK!!!!!!! Finally!
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:17 PM
Woke up this morning aching from the past few days. Amazingly it affects only my whole right arm, with my shoulder included, and my left shoulder and lower arm. No legs affected. Most likely they're immune already.
Enough of the holiday thing. Let me tell you something else much more dire that I found out today. I knew it all along but seriously this is really getting out of hand. I'm trying to curb it but how can you curb something that you miss?! Okay, so here goes:
I have a ______ complex.
NO KIDDING. This is dreadful. I wake up every morning after having the most fun with them missing and wishing that those times could come back. Even though I know this would repeat year after year but still...!
For those who have no idea of what a complex is, here's the definition:
a fixed idea; an obsessive notion. (Taken kindly from dictionary.com)
See?! I'm obsessed! I can't believe it! Darn it, this is what comes out of having no siblings. I am, to quote Nancy, deprived. Believe me, it's not by choice. But honestly this is a very serious matter which I have no idea how to solve. So all I can do is to pretend it is not there. Which is not good, repressing your emotions, because it will just build up and explode over time.
This is a very rare disease. ><
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 2:58 PM
