Friday, November 30, 2007
BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks Noelle Binkee and JIA NA (where are you now?) for keeping my taggie alive. =]
HOLIDAY FUN PART ONE OF THREE
(That's coz I'm too lazy to post them all at once.)
Awright, so I was away for three glorious days at a sunny place starting with B in Indonesia. Loads of sun and wind and sea and sand and loads of fun too. On the first day it was pretty overcast and a little wet, but I had fun on the ferry looking out at the sun sparkling on the sea. It was really beautiful; the waves were weaving themselves like a patchwork quilt, only that they were shades of the same colour. It was raining pretty hard so we couldn't go to the beach, but we played Laser Quest and the soccer thing that Istilldon'tknowwhatit'scalled, it's just known as the Soccer Thing. And billards!! Even though I'm still not very good at it, but it's really fun all the same. Wei Jie was awfully pro at those sort of games. (I'm in awe.) At night I went over to Wei Jie's room (he was bunking with my dad) and we played dai di and watched TV at the same time until we got really bored and none of us wanted to shuffle.
But I tell you, their food there was quite lousy. It's all oil and salt and shallots, and even though I like shallots, they put them ON ALMOST EVERYTHING. The Japanese restaurant (The real one, not the one with green tiles and the bride and groom taking pictures in them with the sign above saying RESTROOM) was a bogus one, it can't even pass for decent food. But there was a cute sweet 'lil girl who kept running about saying hello and smiling at the guests, and WJ opposite me talking about eyeballs popping out and blood streaming and whatnot. All in the name of fun, huh. But I was glad he was there, he's a quite good companion and an enjoyable one too, with all his smartass comments.
Unlike someone else, who is being so corny and childish and petty and wilfull and stubborn and irrational, and so much more, and ridiculous. Who can stand someone like that, I wonder? So either he's exaggerating, because to me he CANNOT LEAD, or those people really have no taste, to follow a guy around the seminar. Or perhaps both.
PART ONE OF THREE - TERMINATED.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:19 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
GUESSWHAT.
Went out today and saw the last person I would imagine I'd meet. BUT it's so coincidental! Two times in the same month! And both times I didn't talk to him.....(And both times he didn't see me...even though we were less than a metre apart.)
Maybe it's a sign....
Maybe it's an OMINOUS sign.....
OR maybe
It's COINCIDENCE.
Yes, that makes sense, doesn't it!
Going away to a faraway land with sand and sun and wind.....I think I'd bring Winsemius along.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:45 PM
Sunday, November 25, 2007
I'm afraid that if I keep forgetting what I want to say or type, this blog would expire pretty soon. Or become virtually dormant, like Noel's.
Today I was trying to look at the world through the perspective of a friend and became very very amused by it. So amused that I burst out laughing in the middle of a street...it kind of quelled me of my amusement there and then. (You would've thought that I would've become immuned to this kind of things now, seeing as I always talk to myself.)
Sooooo I haven't been online...because I have been (again) addicted to Facebook and DA. And I got a whole new account! Which I am very secretive about it, because it has so little pageviews. AND the art is terrible. BUT for people who want a laugh about Harry Potter and the likes, check this out:
http://slinkers.deviantart.com
LOVE the wit, LOVE the art. I wish I can make money from that. Hm. I can't even draw decently with pen and paper, not to mention my wonky mouse.
Rayne
A:"Master Wayne! Master Wayne!"
B:*cough cough* *stirs and looks around bewilderedly*
A:*rolls eyes*
"What's the point of doing push-ups if you can't lift away a bloody log?"
I actually ENJOYED myself. This must be one of the best BM films I've ever watched.
Where dreams were made; 10:06 PM
Friday, November 23, 2007
There really isn't much to do during the holidays, is there?
I can't really hear anything now......it's all static, and the song playing in my head is very very old, repeating the chorus over and over again like a broken record, scratching, scraping itself through my head....I do think that fantasies are easier to be with than reality. But maybe it's because of fantasies that reality seems so harsh. Just like drugs make you feel good but they are bad for you.
Well in that case I have a serious overdose of dreaming.
After all, what else can you do during the holidays?
I wish they'd give us time to prepare ourselves for our future accquaintances. .......And sufficient time to check up on their backgrounds. NO, I'm joking! Well, sort of.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:27 PM
Monday, November 19, 2007
Have you ever got the compulsion or obligation that you must post, somehow, even though you have nothing to say?
Well, this is one.
AND the worst thing of all is that I have the worst conversation block ever, yes, today! Which I should be glad for, since it's not a school day or whatsoever, but then again I wouldn't get a conversation block on a school day because there are so many interesting things and amusing people to talk to and about. I can't think of a single conversation topic. And I certainly can't think of a single thing to say for this post.
Oh wait - I've said pretty many things already!
Rayne
(In actual fact I'm conversing with my Microsoft Word right now by writing a story, but that's a different matter and I WILL NOT post any stories onto my blog because I'm sensitive to criticism for the moment.)
Where dreams were made; 8:15 PM
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Why didn't you run up, I ask? Why did you stop there when all you wanted was to go to see if she's alright?
I've humanised something, and now I'm regretting it terribly.
Winsemius: All mushroom soup have lumps.
Rayne: You don't know that for sure.
Winsemius: I do too. All mushroom soup have lumps.
Rayne: Have you tried all mushroom soup in the world?
Winsemius: Yes.
Rayne: .....I bet you haven't.
Winsemius: I have too.
Rayne: You have never tried my mushroom soup. HA.
Winsemius: ....ALL mushroom soup have lumps. Especially Rayne's.
Rayne: MINE DOES NOT.
Winsemius: Yours does.
Rayne: Oh yeah? What about chicken soup then?
Winsemius: All chicken soup have chicken.
Rayne: ....................
Which, by the way, is not true. But so far ALL mushroom soup that I have taken have lumps. Gah.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 2:17 PM
Friday, November 16, 2007
Yesterday, I set out on a quest with one mission in mind - to tidy up my very very messy room.
Okay, not really. I was just trying to find my knitting needles.
So before you go, "WHAT?!" let me explain the Knitting Situation. Every year, there will be a time when I just have to knit. At any point of the day, I would suddenly go, "I really need to knit. Now." It's a seasonal thing, just like salmon jumping upstream, pengiuns on their cold march, turtle babies making their long and dangerous journey into the blue sea. What do they all have in common? They are all dangerous and risky. Well, the Knitting Situation is no exception.
So I started out easy by riffling through the drawers, peeking in the shelfs, looking through my bags, and still no needles. So I went through the BIGGEST box of things I can find, and located:
1. This wooden flute-thingy that we bought a looong time ago
2. My hand-me-down miniature doll houses (my parents have a policy against dolls, but I don't mind.) that I used to sneak into my bag and me and Angelica would play on the bus
3. This 2m plastic thingy that you can inflate
4. One magnetic international
5. Cut under my thumb nail
6. One hole-y international chess set
About no. 5, it's because of stupid no. 6. The wound under my nail started bleeding like crazy, so I had to stick my bleeding thumb under water and it started stinging like crazy. Anyway everything was pretty crazy for a while because I kept going, "My gosh my thumb my thumb my thumb my nail's ALL RED." And the worst thing is that after some time I forget my thumb hurts and press it really hard and THEN the crazying starts all over again.
So I cleared the biggest box - no needles. And then I went on to the next small box - no needles. I did manage to find cards from Cherry though... ((: Thank you. The next box had loads and loads of seashells, baby ones which I wrapped in tissue and large ones. No needles. The next box, no needles. By this time I was getting pretty vex. WHERE ARE THE DARN NEEDLES?!?! I went to take a bath and stung my bleeding thumb again, came back and thought. (By the time my room's in a mess.) SO I went to comb the top of the shelf, found my pretty yellow yarn, BUT NO NO NO NEEDLES. Then I went out, watched a bit of show, came in, and thought, "EVEN IF I HAVE TO TURN THE WHOLE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN I WILL FIND YOU. YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM MEEEEEE!!!"
So I went to comb the sock drawer. I felt something like knitting needles, and triumphantly pulled them out, and they happened to be -
Fake nails. Two. WHO PUTS FAKE NAILS IN A SOCK CUM MEDICINE DRAWER. Then again, who puts knitting needles in a sock drawer. Hm. So I took out all my socks, and rummaged through bandages and medicine and whatnot, AND I FOUND IT. I FOUND MY KNITTING NEEDLES. MY KNITTING NEEDLES!! WHOOHOO! And I automatically got down to knitting, and left the mess on my bedroom floor alone.
And I just want to say, thanks Cherry for keep writing letters to me, even though I didn't write back, really. D: Oh dear. And Vanessa too. I guess you guys just gave up after a while...didn't you? The fault's all mine, really.
But my knitting needles are back!! The Knitting Situation is ongoing. And the pretty yellow wool just seems prettier, and fluffier. Like little chickies. Who are about to cheep their way into a kitten's mouth.
Rayne
Pay no notice to the last sentence. How sadistic. D:
Where dreams were made; 7:33 AM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
This is what happens if I don't talk to Noel regularly. We both spout nonsense.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
actually not really, I'm bored out of my mind.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
and I'm currently amusing myself.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
with you.
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
via what means
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
O_O
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
EH
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
OMG
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
OMG
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
OMG
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
LOL I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
I DID NOT JUST TYPE THAT.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
YOU DID NOT JUST TYPE THAT
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
this never happened.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
agreed.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
that never happened.
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
...what never happened?
.
.
.
.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
well, just make a random choice. yes or no.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
you don't have to think, really.
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
er,um,(panics)
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
is it....maybe?
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
YES IVE GOT IT.
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
MAYBE.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
WHAT THE HECK.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
YES OR NO.
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
fine fine
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
YOU DON'T SAY MAYBE WHEN A GIRL ASKS YOU OUT FOR DINNER.
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
yes
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
um.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
not that I am.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
yay.
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
okay
`Shil`([i]PSL[/i]) Ghost Town says:
YES U D- excuse me!?
Rayne; Scotchtapedwords. says:
what?
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:33 PM
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:02 PM
Monday, November 12, 2007
I can't bear to watch it anymore. The problem is that it's so subtle that you probably won't catch it, and that it can never come to a good end, however much you want it to. But the look on his face..that I can't get out of my mind. I keep replaying it over and over again. And she will never know. She will never guess, would never know, and even if she did, so what? She can't do anything about it...that's why he would never let her know, that's why he can only stay by her side, sit in that cold, empty home of his.
What if you knew, one day, all the people you have passed in your life that you could be happy with? That when your paths intersected, you did not cut it off, but allowed it to reach, together, to the end? But by a slight chance, one split moment, the second you failed to arrive and they gave up and left, you will never see them again? What if you grew up regretting that you could have done something to remedy that situation but never did?
Worse than any battle scar...would be to shed tears of regret.
I can't get that image out of my head. I saw it on Friday and I'm pretty sure everybody else forgot about it, but I can't seem to forget.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 8:31 AM
Friday, November 09, 2007
THE MOST FOOLISH TRAVELER IN THE WORLD.
A foolish traveler was on a journey. He was stupid because he was easily tricked. The townspeople took advantage of him. On that journey, he was tricked into giving away all his money, clothes and shoes. But the traveler was so foolish, so when the townspeople lied to him saying, "This will really help..." tears would stream down his face, and he would say, "Please be happy."
When he gave away his last belonging, he was naked and ashamed to be seen, so he decided to travel in the forest. Then he met the monsters who lived in the forest. They wanted to eat him, so they tricked him with clever words. Of course, the traveler was fooled and when the monsters asked, he gave up his armas and his legs. Eventually, the traveler was nothing but a head. He even gave his eyes to the last monster he met. As the monster munched on his eyes, he said, "Thank you. I'll give you this in return." and left him.
But that was a lie, too. His gift was a single piece of paper that had "fool" written on it. But the traveler cried and cried, saying, "Thank you, thank you. This is the first time anyone's given me anything, I'm so happy. Thank you. Thank you." And tears kept flowing from his eye sockets. And while he was crying....he died.
Everyone laughed. They thought he was such a moron, a loser, an idiot. While they laughed, I closed my eyes, and though about the traveler. I thought about the traveler who was tricked into being nothing but a crying head, saying, "Thank you." And...I thought...how - lucky....he was. Loss, suffering, it's pointless to think about them. The traveler didn't think about them. That may be stupid to some people, but it's not stupid to me.
---Furuba
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:27 PM
BRILLIANT. FANTASTIC. YAAAAAY. And then -
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW.
Aha. Nice hanging out with Lion, Fly and Rachel. Love going ice-skating with you guys. Even though I still have the annoying blister (why am I the only one getting a blister?!) but at least I don't need to limp home like the last time -and first time - I went there. Granted, that time had been more......interesting, but this one was equally fun. I think I'm getting better at it! I think. Hm.
STARDUST. Nice. Really like the ghost audience, although if princes were so stupid they don't deserve to be princes at all. HAHAHAHAHA I just remembered the Bernard-daughter-goat. LOL LOL LOL AHAHAHAHAAHAAHA THAT WAS SO FUNNY. I was clutching on to Lion the entire time. Out of hilarity. It was so cold in the theatre my nose had a whale of a time running away from me.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:06 PM
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
I know what makes me comfortable
And I know what makes me tick
And when I need to get my way
I know how to pour it on thick
Cream and sugar in my coffee
Right away when I awake
I face the day and pray to God
I won't make the same mistakes
All the rest is out of my hands
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
Yeah I don't know my father
Or my mother well enough
It seems like everytime we talk
We can't get past the little stuff
The pain is self-inflicting,
I know it's not good for my health
But it's easier to please the world
Than it is to please myself
All the rest is out of my hands
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
Right now I can't care about how everyone else really feels
I have enough hurt of my own to heal
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to let go what I cannot change
I will learn to forgive what I cannot change
I will learn to love what I cannot change
But I will change, I will change
Whatever I, whenever I can
What I cannot change - LeAnn Rimes
And I find, as the days go by, that the more personal my posts are, the more impersonal they get. I can be thinking of something that is totally irrelevant to my life, cry for something that doesn't really exist, be happy for things that only happen in stories. Sometimes after explaining what spurred me on to write a blog post that is particularly moving, particularly deep or implies that I'm in love, I realise how shallow they are. They aren't born out of me, they happen because some paranormal force put those feelings inside me, from watching a show, from reading a story, or simply by having a dream. Most personal posts I delete them. I don't even bother posting them.
But what I find - and this I find alarming, as I tell Anky - is that some things that hurt me the most, that cause sadness and hurt, I just ignore them. I don't even bother thinking about them, don't even bother to try to solve the problem, to try to rationalize it out. No - I just chuck them away in a corner and never let them see the light. Seems like I've made happiness my topmost priority, my increasing desire. Razor-sharp words that cut and bleed are dismissed. They never happened - I don't see the scars.
Ignorance is worrying. But I can't bring myself to be depressed, again. Call this being naive, or shallow if you want, but it's a form of self-preservation. I'm trying to preserve my sanity.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:32 AM
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Me: Where are you now?
Me: ....Were you in your school u today by any chance?
Shi Cheng: Yes. Why?
Me: WHERE WERE YOU IN YOUR U???
Shi Cheng: Eh sch? And jurong library.
*calls him*
Me: Were you with anybody when you went to the library?
Shi Cheng: Yes.....
Me: Aha. I see. Did you leave the library about 3?
Shi Cheng: Yeah.....
Me: Aha. I see. Well, thank you. Goodbye.
*hangs up*
I can't stop laughing.
It was really nice talking to you today, Anky. (: Die-hard romantics, the both of us are.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 3:56 PM
Monday, November 05, 2007
Me: I hear the bell!! It's him!! Gotta go byeee.
JX: Was it him?
Me: OKAY IT WASN'T HIM HAHA.
JX: Lol lol lol lol.
Me: Yesss and i got it! Whoo. Sound the bells out, my beloved book's back.
AND IT IS. AND IT IS. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY REPORT BOOK'S BACK.
For those who have absolutely no clue, here's what happened: On Farewell Friday JX and I had to take ACRES stock home. We had originally planned on trooping down to ACRES with Lion and The Dotty Pai Fly Pie who Doesn't Know Where Malacca Is and others, but apparently no one would be in main office. So we decided to walk around Orchard but it was really terrible with the stock in our arms. Halfway through it started to rain, so we decided to go to JX's house, and since I had no space in my bag and had this really tortured look on my face carrying the heavy thingys-which-doesn't-look-really-heavy-which-shows-that-looks-can-be-deceiving, she kindly offered to put it in her bag. After spending a really great time at her old house and gaping at her new, I went home, forgetting all about my report book in her bag which I had abandoned. Darn. And today's Monday. I almost died of a broken heart. And of a deaf ear; my mom kept nagging at me.
And I know I ought to blog about Drama Night, or the first half of it anyway, since it was so interesting with Grace and Muni and all. We were reminiscing about last year's Drama Night where we chased Nancy into the toilets and Muni went peek-a-boo, and suddenly Nancy talked about the video. Smart girl, she managed to figure it out, and she was curious about it. And Muni pointed to me and said, "If you want to know about the video, ask her," (which is true, since she was protecting me anyway) and apparently I went all red. But I wasn't the only one!! Gracey blushed maaaaany many times that day too. :D For reasons I cannot tell, she will kill me.
Aaaah, and I suddenly remembered about the mozzie thing. LOL. Gracey really thought it was a mosquito!!! And I'm sorry Muni for kicking you so hard, really. (: Ahahhaahahahaa. Sigh. Laughter never goes stale.
As you can tell, I'm extremely high now. Yeah, even with a nose with skin that peels off on its own, wonky thumbs, an extremely sore back and stone legs from walking all the way to ACRES. (It was a 30 minute walk, mind you, since I was stupid enough to not take the shuttle bus to Qian Hu and let 4 buses overtake me) CD course was really fun, the other cadets with us were nice and funny and not smart-mouthed, only witty, the trainers were really cool too. A question, BE careful and SEE carefully. Aha. Smart. Apple apple. LOL. That really came out of nowhere.
Showdown with Rubik's cube!
Rayne
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST COUSIN SHEENA!!!!! Even though I'd bet you take a looong time to read this, being busy and all. ((: Take care. See you soon, in December. Or november, if I'm lucky.
Where dreams were made; 7:16 PM
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Decided not to take Nano this year. Somehow I got off onto a bad start and I have zero motivation now.
There are so many things that make me want this year back. Last year it was more of paranoia, I remember that even before the EOYs I was already slipping into depression mode. But I suppose that was different, there were more things I couldn't let go then. (Fortunately I have let go of them now, phew. I think.) This year it's more of you mean the year's over already?!?!? That's all?? End of school? I haven't even said goodbye! Somehow I haven't been able to do a proper farewell, a proper tribute to the class, haven't even left a mark on the physical classroom itself, but we're going, going, gone. Just like that. And next year there will be a new batch of 211'08, and 211'07 will never group into one classroom together again. It's a little sad but that's life...we've just go to move on. As much as your heart wants to stay Time will pull you along into the current. What you have left are your memories, the laughter, the little notes and writings. And most of all, yourself. Because whatever essence of 211'07 is, it's in us, that special quality is already embedded in our hearts, having been through one year together. And I won't cry for the changes that are going to happen, but I will remember, love you guys always for who you are, and for what you have brought into my life in 2007. It's easier to smile than be sad this year, I realised. Somehow it's hilarity that I remember and not tears in this class, even though we've been through leaving, returning and death.
Last year was panic. Panic and fear. But this year is of acceptance. And whatever friendships we have forged, be it old or new, if it is true it will stay strong. And even if it weren't, there's always something good out of them. Always.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 2:07 PM
Friday, November 02, 2007
Strength is something you choose.
Funny how three words can make you cry, make you laugh, make you smile, all at the same time.
I'm embarking on a journey that I willingly chose. And I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it after all.
Rayne
Won't you come to talk to me?
Won't you look my way?
There's so much I want to do,
So much I want to say....
Where dreams were made; 7:18 PM
