Thursday, February 28, 2008
If I keep on continuing like this, I wonder how long I would last.
Went on bus 52 today. When I got onto the bus the bus driver yelled, "Good afternoon!" I was so taken aback! Such a nice guy. But I was so shocked I could only smile a little. When people got off he also said, "Goodbye!" I wish all bus drivers were like that. It's pretty nice of him...even though some people gave him weird looks. I hope he never loses that kind of enthusiasm.
Colbie Caillat is so lovely to listen to at night. Her voice is so soothing.
wherever it goes i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
wherever you go
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 5:38 PM
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Oh, goodness.
I don't know how you do it, Mish. I, on the other hand, am ready to crumble.
Where dreams were made; 10:09 PM
Yes, Sir. Contrary to your belief, I really do know how to count.
Where dreams were made; 8:47 PM
Y'know, when you're about to sleep, your body just automatically takes over and you find yourself stumbling around half-conscious. It's a little scary to wake up and find the lesson over. (I'm sorry.) And then I look down at my paper and it is scrawled with little laggy scribbles all over the place. Since when did I draw this line?!?! I had no idea.
Got really angry with myself somewhere in the middle. I'm such an idiot.
But training was quite good. It cleared my head at the very least. It was so funny when you play twin towers! You see people running this way and people running another way, and everybody starts running and screaming their head off. Plus the band was playing this wacky tune then. Hilarious. I laughed so hard.
At morning assembly I was wishing so desperately to not fall asleep. Or else I would just topple over and knock Joong off her feet as well. At least if it was someone waaay taller I could just lean my head on her back and doze off lightly while waiting for the whole world to keep quiet and listen to us sing the anthem. So I close my eyes and wait and wait and wait.....and pray that I don't fall asleep. (I didn't.) Such a slow, tormenting struggle.
Where dreams were made; 7:48 PM
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
So the best day of the week's over. And after tonight there would be work, and work, and work, and work.....
I wonder if when we grow old, would we feel as weary deep, deep within our bones? Maybe it's a different kind of weariness, but the weight would be the same.
Oh dear, Nerina Pallot's Nickinida sounded almost as tired as I feel. That's not good. We would just keep sinking into this endless cauldron of tiredness as thick as tar.
Speaking of which, Nancy's bag is just like this huge, endless cave where you could just dig and dig and dig and never find the thing which you are trying to find. I watched her trying to find my notebook and I was smiling away wondering if she'd need a torchlight if her bag was that deep that you can't even see the bottom of it.
And the world was a good place, and in days were where I lived,
I imagined life had purpose and I'd something good to give,
Mr. Cave played along on the battered hallway piano,
Oh, every love song a secret to be shared,
Hey, Mr. King, how I wish I was back there.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 8:53 PM
Monday, February 25, 2008
This is certainly. The Best. Home Made. Video. Ever.
This awesome guy named Aaron Platt made it! It's not the original music video, but it's just like it. I love it. It's great.
Music: Apologize by One Republic (without Timberland in it; which is good, I like it better, it's not so harsh.)
Just because Gracey played it on the piano today and pestered me to buy the CD for her, I decided to give the music another chance. XD
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:10 PM
Today was a good day. Lots of laughs in the classroom...history of vegetables? No problem. In chinese we are Chinese Veggies. In english we develop a sophisticated accent. More mud, less pesticide; maybe a green worm in between. Mathematical veggies everyday except for tomorrow. And so on and so forth. Hey, we may be veggies, but we are fussy ones okay!
It was so nice to talk to Mrs Mak again. Usually our old teachers would just pass me in the corridors without showing the fadest sign of recognition that they had taught me before except for an extra-wide smile. I mean, c'mon, you taught me for the entire year and you don't know who I am?! Even Mrs Williamme waves to me, and she only taught me for two modules for two years.
I should do it more often. Popping into classrooms to see my old teachers and make them think that yes, I AM in your class, how can you not notice that I was there?? Ahaha. I wish Mrs Mak was teaching me this year. But Mr Ganesh is also really nice and funny...I wish Mrs Mak taught something other than History so that she can teach me again. XD
Did I tell you that it is a nice day? The sky was such a funny colour in the morning. When I went home there was a guy lugging large plastic bags of canned food, canned drinks, cucumbers, veggies, washing powder into the lift. While we were going up he offered me a drink...he's a really nice guy, I think. But I didn't take it, even though he kept insisting. He was going to stock up for rainy days, he said, so it's best to keep buying loads of things just in case there is not enough. I smiled faintly, but I was recalling a section from Conversations with God for Teens...which was pretty rude of me. He smiled and left, I smiled and closed the lift door. I wish I can interact more with people like that. It'll be nice to make friends with all the people that I've ever met.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:50 PM
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Well, my mom is taking out all the things in one of the cupboards I have in my room to air out the winter clothes that she would be taking to her far-away trip. She turned my room upside-down - clothes on my bed (plus dust), toiletries that we've stacked up on the floor and other odds and ends. She keeps popping into the study room to make me try on clothes that she hasn't worn in -oh, twenty odd years? They still look new. So far I've gained another two skirts and a shirt which I'm not sure when I would be wearing....
But she has a lot of amazing stuff too. A black beaded bag with a gold sling that her ex-boyfriend gave her, a retro pair of large sunglasses that are absolutely amazing. And this has to be the clincher:
Gloves. And not just any ordinary gloves; black lace gloves that cover your hands. She has another pair, a set of purple ones that goes all the way up to your arms but isn't as nice as the black ones. It even has a matching black lacy handkerchief! Binkee, we should have used that for Miss M instead...ahahahahaha. It's wonderful.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:04 PM
Saturday, February 23, 2008
On this wildly calm, breezy night...
Hello. I love you. Smile for me, because I long to see your smile.
Where dreams were made; 9:24 PM
I'm sorry if I've missed out on anything.
I've just realised that our traffic lights have no more rubbish bins. Why?? I bet they're afraid that some crazy drunk would saunter past in the middle of the night and decided, on a whim, to kick the dustbin onto the road. Then a car would crash into it, and then a motorist would slip on a plastic bag and pedestrians would fall and graze their knees because they are too busy looking at their phones/reading their books/talking to their friends to look out for oncoming vehicles/stray pieces of rubbish. I understand that feeling! I crashed into a wall once while talking. It had dire consequences. (The action of crashing into the wall, not the wall itself.)
Doing homework's at a standstill now, because I've just talked to a friend and I'm still experiencing the aftermath of it, haha. Interestingly enough, I called him the exact moment he called me, so our calls kind of cancelled out each other. But I managed to get through. Thanks for waiting so patiently for my call.
I'm sorry if I've missed out on anything.
Chinese history-drama shows (Yes, binkee, my parents watch the same Ming Dynasty show as your dad) have such whiny, wail-y, strange long-drawn female vocals and some patriotic vocals in between. It's fine at night, but in the mid-day it is pretty annoying.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:15 PM
July 6, 1806
My angel, my all, my very self -- only a few words today and at that with your pencil -- not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon -- what a useless waste of time. Why this deep sorrow where necessity speaks -- can our love endure except through sacrifices -- except through not demanding everything -- can you change it that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine?
Oh, God! look out into the beauties of nature and comfort yourself with that which must be -- love demands everything and that very justly -- that it is with me so far as you are concerned, and you with me. If we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I!
Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other; moreover, I cannot communicate to you the observations I have made during the last few days touching my own life -- if our hearts were always close together I would make none of the kind. My heart is full of many things to say to you - Ah! -- there are moments when I feel that speech is nothing after all -- cheer up -- remain my true, only treasure, my all as I am yours; the gods must send us the rest that which shall be best for us.
Your faithful,
Ludwig
This love letter was found upon his death.
Rayne
I miss you.
Where dreams were made; 2:04 PM
Friday, February 22, 2008
I believe I am vaguely tired.
It's kind of surprising. Always when I am not fully awake do my instincts fully take over. And then later all envisions seem stupid. Sigh. I was going to tell Sarah about this lovely dream I had on Wednesday night, then I was in the middle of explaining it when suddenly it sounded so TERRIBLY thread-bare. I was so ashamed. But I think she more or less guessed it, because I more or less told her about it.
But the night never seems as pretty as when I'm almost dozing off. It's the blurry quality. The time where whimsical things fly free and weird thoughts enter your mind. Where homework is done in a mess and songs are so euphoric-sounding...yes, it's that time again.
No, I'm not going to take coffee. I can't stop reminding myself of the last time when I did.
part [C] mish SOUBI <3 says:
OMG
part [C] mish SOUBI <3 says:
WHEN WAS THAT TAKEN
Rayne; Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first! says:
HAHHAHAHA LAST YEAR
Rayne; Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first! says:
you even posed for it, you nut.
part [C] mish SOUBI <3 says:
hahahahahaha.
part [C] mish SOUBI <3 says:
i vaguely rmb it.
(It's taken before Drama Night, when we were at KFC and accidentally saw Mish.)
R: My feet are sore.
S: My stomach is full.
JX: I am thirsty.
S: No! You must have the format "My _____ is _______."
JX: My throat is thirsty.
S: There's no such thing!
JX: ....MySELF is thirsty.
R&S: XD
You can have it all, yeah, we should have it all.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 10:42 PM
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
It's easier to please the world
than it is to please myself.
But it's never really about the world anyway. Because believe it or not all things have a choice. It only depends on what consequences you are willing to face...and the repercussions after. I've been understanding so many uplifting things recently that I'm really gratified. I feel fulfilled. And to love unconditionally and without reserve is, doubtless, the best thing I've ever experienced.
To love someone because you love yourself is such a wonderful feeling.
I have more things to thank for in life! (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:05 PM
As quoted from Mish's blog:
"THEY SHOULD MAKE A SIMIN/SZEMIN/REBEK/JOOGIAN/ANQI/SOUBI/KANDA STUFFED TOY. The Joogian stuffed toy will choke the breath out of you, everything else would be cuddly and squishy (except for Rebek's - it'll prolly give you the WTF ARE YOU DOING look) and the last 2 would make Simin and I happeeeeeee. C:
YES I FINALLY MANAGE TO GET EVERYTHING UNITL VOL 9 CHAP 5 CRAMMED INTO A STORAGE DEVICE, SZEMIN'S WISH SHALL BE FUFILLED C:"
:O MISH YOU SHOULD SET UP A COMPANY THAT MANUFACTURES THAT KIND OF TOY! I can think of a few people who would be nice as a stuffed toy. X) Ohhhhh I want. They would be so cuddly and cute and Muni's one would look a little dao and blur at times and hide under the table and Mish's one would go into romantic fits but aaaaaaaaah they would be so huggable!!!!!
If they do manufacture those sort of toys I would be broke trying to do the dolls in everyone's image. D:
But I think a Ritsuka toy would be nicer than a Soubi one Mish! Soubi doesn't fit! If you want him he has to be ALIVE.
And yes, my wish did come true, thank you darling. I just finished copying all of them! You haven't showed me the Kyoto desserts yet. I WANT TO SEE THE SOBA WITH THE CHOPSTICKS STICKING INTO THEM.
Plenty of good and wonderful things to look forward to. (Non-academically.) I'm looking forward to waking up every day. Although why does it to be at such an unearthly time, I have no idea.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:29 PM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Happy birthday Xinle!!! (:
I still have all the bits and pieces of weird conversation. I'm glad I've kept them. It's nice to lose yourself in the past when you need to take a break from the present. I've realised that there is so much truth in what my friends write to me sometimes. The Rayne, ignorant as she is, ignores the truth and sincerity and writes back a naive, cutting reply instead. Sometimes I get so annoyed with myself. All that I want to convey comes out a different way and I sent it off without thinking. The next minute I'm calling myself stupid for having double meanings.
It doesn't matter who was right,
There's no justice in a dream.
Never thought a heart could break
Without making any sound.
Is nothing sacred anymore?
Is forever just another word?
Is a promise something people used to keep
When love was worth fighting for?
History tomorrow. I feel woefully inadequate and unprepared for exams!
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 8:58 PM
Monday, February 18, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SI RUI!!
The egrets are back! I've been seeing them not only at the two large fields, but also at the library, the bus stop outside the church..... They are so amazing. And they aren't even scared of me at all.
I don't exactly know the reason why I like them.....but I just do. Seeing them around my house makes my day.
I'm still sick from a weekend's bout of flu. Actually my throat feels better, it's my nose that does all the work. OH and I keep coughing now. Which I suppose is better than a sore throat. Everytime I take strepsils I can't help thinking of the Lily Allen song. Grace's lozenges are nice.
CLE was fun today. We were trying to come up with a motto, and so far we could only think of: "To learn, to lead and to love everybody else."
Chen Rui: Don't put else!
Me, Pearlyn, Julie: What??
Chen Rui: The else's redundant!
Julie: So we should have to earn, to ead and to ove..?
Chen Rui: WHAT?? I mean you should take away the else from the everbody else or else it doesn't make sense.
Pearlyn: OH. WE THOUGHT YOU MEAN TAKE AWAY THE "L"s.
Me, Pearlyn, Julie: TO EARN TO EAD AND TO OVE!!
Yes ma'am, let us all start to earn money!!
Later our motto became like this: "To learn, to lead and to love." but Mar informed us that it was the SL's motto. So we tried to tweak it a little. Someone suggested (Joong?) that we put "To be a better _____" format instead.
El: So it's to be a better learner, leader and - WAIT.
Rest of us: D:
El: OH MAN. NO WAY.
But in the end our motto was so beautiful. I love it! I want it on our class tee and hoodie (if we ever get one.) I think this year everybody's really hyped up about sec 3 class stuff, so it's pretty exciting. The sec 3 classes seem more bonded at any rate. I really, really really love 313 and all its inhabitants. The lovability rate is just going up every day despite all the extra stress and academic stuff.
But I'm digressing! Would you want to know our motto?
(Say yes.)
Okay. It's.....
To learn to lead, to live to love.
Which is the prettiest thing I ever heard today. (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:24 PM
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Because we can't live without love. Because love is life, and life is centered around love.
Thank you oh so much for your wonderful hugs. Thank you for your smiles. Thank you for your presents. Thank you for your love.
Because we know that in the end, that's all that really matters.
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody.
Where dreams were made; 7:48 PM
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
I look back, and I laugh. Sometimes I smile. Always I wonder: what if I'd known you back then? Would our lives be different now? Would I be different? Would you? I wished I did. It would've been fun. The altered memories may have been much happier that way.
I want to see the younger you. You must have been so cute!
But I'm just glad that He allowed us to meet. Even though it's one year later, I'm glad I got to know you after all.
Spread the love, coz you know what day it is tomorrow! (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:32 PM
Do you know, if you keep your hands in alcohol long enough, your fingerprints can actually disappear?
How does it feel like to be a person with no identity? Is it liberating, to be able to walk through a crowd without feeling the need to recognise anybody, to pick someone out from the crowd to talk to? Is it welcoming, the solitude, the relief of zero expectations? To drift through all the actions of life, to comprehend that there's no responsibilities or repercussions of actions taken.
Or is it too liberating? With such freedom, and the eternal blue sky awaiting, would you feel lost? Our responsibilities tie us down, but it is they who weigh us down to earth. To recognise solid ground beneath our feet. A solid foundation. To experience none of the fun, sweet things that two people can do together, or the funny things that happen in a group. Never to understand the relationships that people have with other people.
Sarah asked, "Are you sure?" And gosh, I don't know, I don't know anymore. That convinction is gone. I'm wavering. It's so life-draining, sometimes, but at other times I live for them.
The fingerprints will grow back sooner or later. It's just a matter of time.
Where dreams were made; 7:41 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISHYYYY!!!!
:D
I found out my junior's name! She's called Annabel. (sp?) She's in Malay dance! And Tribune and AVPA. I should ask Jia Yi about her!
I was so happy today. Mish dedicated a message to me on the V-day board! It's my first ever dedication from a friend. :O I WAS SO SURPRISED and I couldn't find it at first, so I dragged her all over the boards trying to find it, and THEN I FOUND IT! And I was so so so so so so so so so happy!!!!!!!!! I took a picture of it on my hp. Super bad quality but you can make out the words.
I apologise for the weird rambly paragraph. But it was just so sweet. I mean, on dedication boards people usually put a group or a class or their CCA, so when she wrote my name on it I was really happy.
I wrote some people's names on the board! :D Try to find it! If they haven't doodled over it already.
Gracey, get well soon. SLEEP EARLY. Give all your stress to me, and then we can work to destroy it together.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:28 PM
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLORY!!
Gosh, people's birthdays are whizzing past so fast, I can't even keep track of the dates and the order of presents.
I just realised how much I dislike Wednesdays. We get Math, Chinese and all three sciences in one day. The worst part is how screwed our timetable is. We have Bio on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and Chem on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday consecutively. I think the school's admin has kindly forgotten about the word homework..? It's hard to fault them because of the immense amount of work they have to do to fit everybody's subjects in, but our timetable is really really screwed.
I didn't know that Mish and Nancy shared my free block, and apparently Mish didn't know either. I happened to run into her when she was prowling about my classroom, fretting about her Jap CA.
Made a new friend today who also goes on the 105. She knows Jessica! She's my sec one junior. I don't even know her name, except that it starts with an A.
You know, there are just that many things that you can fit in one linear column. There's no extra space for all your spare baggage. You either get on or just stand there and watch it pass. And if you see someone whom you should have met...well, that's just too bad, isn't it? Linear columns wait for no one. That much I learnt today. It's difficult to complain when you find yourself instinctively following that same pattern.
Where dreams were made; 8:55 PM
Monday, February 11, 2008
To every thing there is a season, and
a time to every purpose under the heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up
that which is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
--Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Funny how the weirdest things prick your skin.
Handphone Quiz! (Koped from Gracey)
1) What's your phone brand?
Sony Ericsson!
2) What are the last 3 digits in your cell phone number?
085
3) What does the 12th message in your inbox say?
Fine. I'm playing tennis tomorrow morning, you wanna meet at..mm..2? - Nancy, 8/02/2008
4) Who's the first person under M?
Mandi.
5) Who's the last person you rang?
Teng Jing Xuan.
6) Who was your last missed call from?
Gracey. D: SORRY.
7) Who's the 2nd person under D?
Only one person! Duxuan. XD
8) What does the last message in your inbox say?
Heya my comp has a nasty habit of shutting down on me. I'm trying to coax it back to life. - Gracey, JUST. XD
9) Who is the secondlast person under j?
JONI! Same as Gracey. What a coincidence.
10) Go to your sent items. what does the 10th message say?
I know! So we should do something more special - To Nancy.
11) Who's the 4th person under S?
Shona!! <3 Bunwigi! :D
12) Who's your network provider?
I dunno! I suppose Starhub?
13) How many messages are currently in your inbox?
I dunno!! D:
14) What do you have as your background?
This cute little guy in a sea of black shadows with a question mark above his head.
15) Who is the second person under R?
Only one again - Ruth
16) Who do you have on speed dial 3?
I don't have speed dial!
17) If you're on prepaid, how much credit do you have left?
12 dollars plus.
18) Who's the last person under C?
CHERYL KOH. ((:
19) How many bars of signal do you currently have?
Mine goes by colour not by bars. XD
20) What do you have as your main ringtone?
I have no idea! I've been on silent mode since forever that I can't even recognise my ringtone.
Where dreams were made; 8:46 PM
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Can you tell when I'm sincere, and when I'm not?
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
I'm being a little sadly happy
Shil titanic says:
er
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
what an oxymoron. D:
Shil titanic says:
no kidding
Shil titanic says:
what makes you sad and what makes you happy?
Shil titanic says:
as of this moment, not in general.
What indeed. Maybe it's just that the sky was so blue today, when it was grey in the beginning. Maybe it's because the fields were so green except for a few muddy holes. Maybe it's the result of the warm wind that kept blowing as I walked back at 6.44 pm.
Shil titanic says:
HAHA hey you know what I saw at Kinokuniya today?
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
who???
Shil titanic says:
what, not who
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
WHAT
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
XD
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
sorry
Shil titanic says:
SHAKESPEAREAN MANGA
Shil titanic says:
LOLOLOL
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
WHEREWHEREWHERE??
Shil titanic says:
KINOKUNIYA
Shil titanic says:
(didn't I just say that)
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
WHERE IN KINO, SILLY.
Shil titanic says:
MANGA SECTION THEN WHERE
Shil titanic says:
and also somewhere near the entrance
Shil titanic says:
*near both entrances
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
lolololololll
Shil titanic says:
it's like
Shil titanic says:
*looks around for interesting books*
Shil titanic says:
sees: (on the cover of a manga-ish book):
Shil titanic says:
[i]THE TEMPEST[/i]
Shil titanic says:
thinks: er, WTH LOL IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS
Shil titanic says:
spots: [i] HAMLET, ROMEO AND JULIET, KING RICHARD III[/i]
Shil titanic says:
ZOMG ROFL AHHAHAHHAHA
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
XD
Shil titanic says:
they are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO manga-ish.
Shil titanic says:
gawd.
Shil titanic says:
funnaye
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
LOL
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
LOL
Shil titanic says:
like,
Shil titanic says:
the female characters are all slim, tall and chio and the guys are cute and somewhat hunky and the bad guys have curly moustaches and whatnot..........
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
LOLOLOLOLLLL
Shil titanic says:
yeah
Shil titanic says:
I forgot the price though
Shil titanic says:
D:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
I WANT TO BUYYY
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
XD
Shil titanic says:
gogogogo
I should, right!! XD
The presents that some people give are so amazing. They come in all forms and shapes but you can just feel the love. Some are so inexplicably sweet. If I have that kind of talent I would love to do it for someone too, but I'm not talented at all.
Shil titanic says:
do you want rose or orchid seeds? (:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
rose. (:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
why?
Shil titanic says:
becauseeeeeeeeeeeee
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
because..?
Shil titanic says:
I bought a lot of seeds on the last day of my OEP.
Shil titanic says:
5 colors of roses, 4 types of orchids.
Shil titanic says:
XD
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
but I need dirt!
Shil titanic says:
LOL
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
and a pot!
Shil titanic says:
you shall provide yourself with those.
Shil titanic says:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
XD
Shil titanic says:
I can only give you SEEDS.
Shil titanic says:
red, blue, yellow, white and black.
Shil titanic says:
your pick (:
Shil titanic says:
(black one is artifical, obviously.)
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
there are blue roses?!?!
Shil titanic says:
every color you can think of!
Shil titanic says:
even green (like, ew.)
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
ARE YOU SERIOUS??
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
OMG!
Shil titanic says:
but of course, I only bought like 5 colors.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
how fake are the black ones. XD
Shil titanic says:
stated above
Shil titanic says:
I dunno I just planted 3 red ones so far, and that was this morning.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
WHOOAAAA
Shil titanic says:
ok not me, but my mom.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
lol
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
I want red. and blue.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
ooh
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
XD
Shil titanic says:
HAHA I tell you, my grandma loves roses MORE than you.
Shil titanic says:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
BUT I NEED A POT!!!!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
and I NEED DIRT.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
get me those for my birthday.
Shil titanic says:
when my mom told her I bought the seeds she went like: NOEL COME OVER TO INDIA RIGHT NOW AND GIVE ME SOME SEEDS D:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
AHAHAHAHA
ROSES ROSES ROSES!! Well, if I can plant them well. I need dirt and a pot. Aaaaand roses!!! I'm so excited! It's so amazing! GOSH ROSES CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! Red ones and black ones and white ones andandandandand!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
HAHAHAHAHHAA
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
OMGGGGGGGG
Shil titanic says:
don't you dare go ' ROSES!!!!' now.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
ROSES!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
XD
Shil titanic says:
D:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
how did you know I wanted to put that!
Shil titanic says:
that's what you've been putting!
Shil titanic says:
at this rate I shan't give you any seeds.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
noooo!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
D:
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
I WANT DIRT AND A POT
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
YOU MEAN ONE SEED ONE POT?!?!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
are you crazy.
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
that's too much space
Shil titanic says:
hahhaha!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
the rose would get lonely
Shil titanic says:
no, put two in one!
Rayne; Yes, but still. says:
oooh!
HOW INEXPLICABLY ROMANTIC!
ROSES!!!!!!!! And next I'll plant sunflowers! And cute little wild flowers which I love because they just make my day smiling at me from the field.
Where dreams were made; 8:52 PM
I think I'm going to be really really sad/tired/panicky/sian once CNY is over.
But the past two days were fun, I got to see my cousins again and talk and laugh and play and gamble. I won 3 dollars! Which is a lot, seeing as I started from zero. My luck is not bad. As usual Alvin's DS had a lot of people glued to it; WJ perpetually dominated the poor thing. But it really is quite addictive.
AND and and the Wii!! Pei Lin's house is so cool. It's done in the Japanese style, so there are a lot of nice glossy and smooth wooden panels, beautiful potted plants and a mini fish pond that is so wonderful. I would have stuck my finger into it but Sarah complained that I pollute the fishpond. XD They have a HUGE TV AND A WII!!!!!!!!!! Which is amazing. We played boxing first, and I managed to own WJ once (and, I suspect, the only time.) because while we were playing his necklace broke. And he got distracted. And Simon took over.
So it's not a fair win, but WHO CARES, I still owned him! Technically.
Anyway he's really good, he took on so many of us consecutively, and boxing REALLY HURTS, your arms started to ache like crazy and you can't straighten them. After that we had shooting, and his reflexes are really good (a characteristic of a die-hard game player) so he just shoots at everything and anything and he gets them all. He got 300+ over! For his first try he got like 200+. I got only 156+.
And the shooting graphics are really funny. For the first round you shoot balloons. For the second you shoot frisbees (or dartboards, I can't remember. Or was that the third round?) For those people who can't control the remote they start to shoot the grass instead of shooting the frisbees, and you see all these little green bits flying into the air. OH and the dartboard round right, there will pop up you and your opponent's avatars, and you're supposed to shoot your opponent's face and not your own to gain points.
And there's this round where you have your own little avatars and your opponents all lined up neatly on the field. Then suddenly these UFOS would fly down from the sky and try to take your little people away. IT'S SO FUNNY, I couldn't stop laughing! So tickled! Then suddenly they start panicking and running away like little crazy ants. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
A lazy duck may just fly past and we would shoot it down. It gains you massive points. The duck looks choked when we try to shoot it though.
There's another round where you have to bounce the coke cans with your shots. XD
I miss my cousins already.
Rayne
Mish is like <333!!!!!!! She's the only person whom I can really talk with about, because we share such similair experiences.
Where dreams were made; 10:59 AM
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
QUIZ
1. Honestly, what color is your shirt?
Red. It has a cool quote!
2. Honestly, what's on your mind?
Stuff to do. Lack of motivation. Some people.
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
THIS!
4 . Honestly, have you ever been in love?
Every single day.
5. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
Yes. Terribly.
6. Honestly, do you watch disney channel?
Nah. I don't have it.
7. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Vanessa!
8. Honestly, are you jealous of somebody right now?
If I don't think about it, no.
9. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?
The stuff I say without thinking.
10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
No!
11. Honestly, do you use anyone?
Yes.
12. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?
Of course! Every single waking minute, and every single minute I'm asleep.
13. Honestly, do you have a friend you don't like?
Not exactly. I'm pretty neutral.
14 . Honestly? Do you love someone very much?
Yes yes yes.
15. Honestly, does anyone like you?
Ahaha, I think so.
DIFFERENT EMOTIONS SURVEY
1. What do you do when you're mad?
I don't know exactly.
2 . What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
Hurt the other person back.
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
No.
4. Do you swear when you're mad?
Yes.
5. When was the last time you really cried?
I don't register the times I cry, only the times that I'm really very very happy.
6. Ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes.
7. What usually makes you cry?
Relationships. Things I put emphasis on.
8 . Are you normally a happy person?
Yes.
9. Does being with your friends makes you happy?
If it doesn't, what will? (:
3 Names you go by:
1. Sze Min
2. Rayne
3. Lolita (don't call me that. D<)
3 physical things you like about yourself:
I DUNNO!
3 physical things you don't like about yourself:
Aaaaah don't tell me to do this everything just seems to EXPAND and swell and look terrifyingly horrendous.
3 things that scare you:
1. Parting.
2. Not being strong enough, or loving enough, or good enough.
3. Failure!
3 of your everyday essentials:
1. Love
2. Laughter
3. Friends
3 things you're wearing right now:
1. Shirt
2. Shorts
3. Um.....specs?
3 of your favourite bands or musical artists:
1. 183 club
2. The Corrs
3. The Carpenters
3 of your favourite songs:
The ones I can think of in this instant:
1. Still - Frankie J
2. Con Te Partiro - Sarah Brightman&Andrea Bocelli
3. Fallen - Sarah Mclachan
3 things you want in a relationship:
1. LOVE&laughter
2. Trust
3. Being there for each other
Sorry, can I add one more? Romance. :D
2 truths, and a lie (in no particular order):
1. I am waiting for someone right now.
2. I would do anything for Nancy Jiang at this present moment.
3. I love Michelle Qiu!
GUESS.
3 physical things of the opposite sex that appeals to you:
I dunno.
3 of your favourite hobbies:
1. Sketching/Drawing
2. Playing the piano
3. Talking to my friends
3 things you really want to do badly right now:
1. DRAW
2. Read the rest of LOVELESS
3. Call somebody.
3 careers you're considering/considered:
1. Artist
2. Doctor
3. Lawyer
3 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Paris
2. Rome
3. Japan again!
3 kids' names you like:
I never really actively thought about it. (:
3 things you want to do before you die:
1. Love.
2. Be Loved.
3. Pass on Love.
(:
And many others.
3 ways that you are steorotypically a girl:
1. I love hugging people
2. I like shopping
3. I read romance novels!
3 ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I don't feel comfortable in a skirt/dress. D: I start walking weirdly, and I can't sit down properly.
2. I speak/act roughly sometimes. XD
3. I like com games! Even though I can't download them.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 10:37 PM
Oh yes, something I remembered when Dolly was MSNing me.
On Monday when I got the beautiful scanlations when I saw her at recess I SCREAMED. And she screamed. (I posted this already.) And I hugged her right in the middle of the queue. And we spent a few minutes fangirling.
And then she said,
"I WANT TO ELOPE WITH SOUBI." pause. "Then again, I don't mind eloping with you, either."
Okay, it sounds weird, but I found it really sweet.
MISH come back on MSN quick! We haven't finished our conversation yet.
One and half more hours to CNY! I want to stay up all night and watch the day break while talking to someone, but I don't think I'll last through the whole thing.
Where dreams were made; 10:26 PM
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!
RGS celebrations were nicer than last year. Mish commanded the school in the morning and she looked SO ZAI AND CUTE! Ahahahaha. You should command more Dolly..!!!
Class party was fun with pistaschios. XD (I don't know how to spell it.)
OH OH OH AND
What a concidence! They noticed it at the same time during assembly and went, "Ay..?" IT WAS SO CUTE I couldn't resist taking a picture of them!
Lishan very kindly told me how to take the bus back to PEPS. (XD) For the past years I've been led by WenJing, but she wasn't going back, so.... We originally planned, because I wasn't sure who was coming back apart from Vanessa, and she didn't know if she'll meet anyone she knew there, to go to my school first, see all the teachers, THEN go to her school. =D Ahaha! Thanks a lot for the directions, really. I would probably get lost if you weren't there. (:
And PEPS CNY was a meek one. I met Vanessa at the bus stop. When we went in, the whole school was so quiet. No festivities at the hall. The staffroom was bare and dark. We went down into the silent canteen to find the guys grouped there. EVERYBODY left the school and we were the only stupid ones to go in. XD Even the janitor started closing some parts of the school, ahaha!
It wasn't a complete waste of time. I finally got Lu Chang to teach me how to fold origami, after pestering him last year. We didn't have paper, so he had to do it on Hwa Chong foolscap with a ruler as a subsititution for scissors. I know how to fold it now! I gave the first completed one to Vanessa. (:
....but the people whom I really wanted to see didn't turn up. It's disappointing, and the worst thing is that they all have valid reasons not to turn up. It's not intentional, I know! But, still...after anticipating for more than a day, it made this day a little down.
S'okay, I'll see them on Teacher's Day. (Don't remind me of how far it is.) And we can always go out together..right?
(:
I can't wait for the official chinese new year! Sarah I promise I will upload the photos, it's just that it takes SO much time. D:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 2:24 PM
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
A few nights ago when my mood took a turn for the worse I MSNed Gracey, because she was online and would be able to understand.
She gave me this amazing URL of people who posted things that other people said or did that made them happy. We spent the night reading through them...there are some types of happiness that make you twitch with envy, but there are some others that can make you happy just looking at them.
That community was one of those that spreads joy. We felt so much happier just reading all the nice things that people say about other people, and the happiness that those recipients felt was so tangible. And what makes it nicer was that it was the simplest things; a few words, a hug, a smile that seems to penetrate and pierce your soul; it makes it so much easier to believe that there is still love in this world after all, that people do still care for other people.
It's this sort of simplistic love that makes life worth living for at the present moment.
One day I would post the joy that I feel when some people say some things or do some things for me. I got this whole list, only I never really say it. But I want to spread happiness. I want to contribute! (:
Oh, this was one of my favourites:
"I was walking to a friend's yesterday evening, and I pass a scruffy-looking man wheeling a bicycle on the way in. When he opens his mouth, I think oh no - because I don't actually have my purse on me, and last time I refused to give someone change, they followed me and my friends up the High Street, which was far from a pleasant experience.
"Excuse me, miss, but can I have -- " Oh no, here goes. " -- your hand in marriage?"
It made me smile. He didn't even ask for change afterwards. It was a very nice start to the evening."
It's so sweet! XD Not romantically sweet, but just a sweet praise to say to someone you don't even know.
http://community.livejournal.com/thenicestthings/ Visit it when you are down and need a bit of happiness. It's such a wonderful idea to set this up.
Spread the joy!
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:28 PM
Monday, February 04, 2008
Con te Partiro is really nice....thanks Chun Wai for sending it to me.
Actually I've known about this song earlier, I've always listened to the instrumental, but never with Sarah Brightman's and Andrea Bocelli's vocals. (The youtube one is the tenor version. It's nice but a little too...deep.)
Listen to it on a rainy day. It sounds so sad and familiar at the same time, like an old friend who's come back and gone again. Why is it that parting only intensifies the longing? Even if we treasure every day and love that person to the best of your ability, why is it that at the end of it you keep feeling like you can do better, love better, smile better?
Am I not giving my maximum already?
Today in the morning the sky was such a bluish-gray, it tinted everything a nice warm blue colour. In the morning the sky is always beautiful. Now the sky's a pearl-gray. And Andrea Bocelli's vocals have started on my speakers.....
Time to say goodbye...
I really don't know what to say.
I was so tired, I boarded the wrong bus today. It was only when it started to go into this narrow road near the private housings that I realised I took the 132 bus instead. Thank goodness I didn't sleep....I alighted at the Red Hill MRT stop, and got home faster than I would have if I'd taken the 105.
I suddenly want to see Mushroom again. D:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:24 PM
You know, I still don't understand how such things could happen...it's taking almost all the good things I've known just to counteract that evil that I've been introduced again to today. I wish I could draw the poison out. The way she said it made my heart ache. I can't stop putting myself in her position, but I don't think I'll be able to bear it.
But it's okay, I'm fine now. There are still things in this world to be happy about.
I received the much-anticipated thing from Dolly...!! Have I told you how much I love you? (: Saw her at recess and we just SCREAMED in the middle of the queue, haha! Jamie was appalled by our behavior. I think the people in front got a great shock. She is SO adorable and sweet. But WHY elope, Mish, when you can marry?
BUTBUTBUT I started reading, and tomorrow if I can catch you I'm sure you know what would ensue. People, you have been warned. If you see Mish and I together tomorrow, run as far as you can, unless you are one of Us, too. (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:58 PM
Sunday, February 03, 2008
I couldn't help smiling last night. Joy is as contagious as yawning, it seems. We should start a joy epidemic, and everybody infected would stay happy the whole day.
Thanks Gracey. (:
Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
buscando la manera de llenar tu corazon.
Y sigo aqui
pensando en ti
desesperadamente perdiendo la razon.
And I'm still here
thinking about you
looking for a way to fill your heart
and I'm still here
thinking about you
desperately losing my mind.
Even though it's in Spanish, but I really do like it.
Lily Allen's songs make me laugh, even though the lyrics are so....cutting. It's the way she sings it, I suppose. It makes me think of girls with curls wearing polka-dot yellow dresses with red lipstick and cute bow shoes dancing the cha-cha.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 3:10 PM
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I miss having lengthy monologues with myself. I miss whimsical, romantic thoughts that come to me at random times, no matter how cheesy or flimsy they may be. I miss the Rayne of last year, and all the chaos that she'd been through.
I can find these back, but they won't be the same. Sometimes, you can't just backtrack whenever you want to. You can only connect the dots with the clues that your past self has left behind. The original feeling may never be there anymore, but at least you may glimpse the ghost of it.
With every year that passes, you lose something and gain something else, something that may be shy and remains invisible for the time being. Sooner or later you would realise it, would probably coax it out of its hiding place and protect it, nurture it, watch it grow. Maybe you would hate it and want to snuff it out. Believe it or not, these things are more persistent than they look.
I just found mine recently, and I'm trying to get used to the idea. It's biding its time patiently, waiting for me to give the cue, but I'm a little stunned. That something so simple can be the driving force of other things so complex, so silent, so dense. Maybe it is the main root of everything that I've ever done.
Eloquency is not in abundance this year, I hear. I'm not resenting it, but sometimes you just wish you find the right words to describe the right things.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 5:29 PM
Friday, February 01, 2008
There was green. And then there was gray.
And then the sky turned a dark bluish-black.
I've been drifting in and out of consciousness the whole day. My hands have never been warm since. Even as I am thinking about some issues my hands cannot stop trembling. They feel numb...my fingers slide all around the keyboard and fumble to type words.
You know what I really want to do now? I want to stand in a field of dandelions, with a light breeze blowing. I want to pick up those dandelions and blow the seeds away to leave behind the purest emotions and reasons. These days I've been trying to understand, but it is hard. I still can't figure out the motives behind what is going on. It's surprising how many dandelions I can blow before I run out of breath......and there must be music. Doesn't matter what kind of music, just a sweet one full of smiles that can worm its way into souls and stay there. I want little yellow butterflies to flit around the dandelions as if they were meant to do that for all their lives. If possible, at occasional times I would like the rain to show itself too, a light drizzle, a huge storm, it doesn't matter. Because rain can drown all, cleanse all and empower all.
I want to be able to smell the rain coming.
And if it is able, I want love to be present as well. But if it isn't it's okay, I'll just go looking for it, even though at times it is really hard to find.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 8:54 PM
