Friday, August 31, 2007
Hot
Tired
Frustrated (a little)
Hot
Traumatised
Fried
Anxious
Hot
Impatient
Hot
Hot
Hot
But above and dominant of all,
Happiness
Which intensified when the performance was over and we could be dismissed, overwhelmed when PEPS was in sight and lingered all the way till I was home. And I can't tell you, can't tell you enough how much this day means to me, being able to see everybody, being able to remember how innocently happy I was in that school. There were problems and times which left an indelible black mark on me, times where I knew the worst of children's hearts, and how cruel a person can be. But that's over, over and done with, and what's left is of that last golden year I spent in that school before I had to transfer --
And that matters to me the most.
Thank you everybody especially Wen Jing who accompanied me and kept grousing about the taxi fare - it's okay, it's worth it, we reached early didn't we! :D - and last throughout the entire session with me. Thank you thank you thank you.
And my goodness, to see everyone changed - why do I get the feeling that everyone's getting taller but I'm not? - whether be it in height or tone or mannerism, it's still quite a surprise. It's rather surreal. I feel like I'm living in a world that kept speeding up its rotations just for the sake of it.
This is change in the most fast-forward sense of the word.
Happy Teacher's Day, everybody.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:14 PM
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Ohmygoodness, I've fallen into this habit of saying ohmygoodness. No joke. I have to curb myself of this bad, bad habit.
I mean, I could've thought of a better word to use, like Muni's oh fish or Gracey's oh snap, but ohmygoodness?
o_o
Ah, I just recieved something on Mish's relatives. And about money matters, too. (Sounds so much like her.) Take a look:
Traditional Corporation
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A French Corporation
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
A Japanese Corporation
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called "Cowkimon" and market them World-Wide.
A German Corporation
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
A British Corporation
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
An Italian Corporation
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
A Chinese Corporation
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.
An Indian Corporation
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A Singapore Corporation
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.
No offence intended. (I did not write this.)
Smile every day. (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 5:11 PM
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
It was such an overcast day today...Errant raindrops rolled down from the leaves and splashed onto my head. I kept my eyes downcast to watch out for deceiving puddles. (They always turn out to be deeper than you realize.) The lone bus stop seemed so ominous with no one there, concealed among the greenery straining to reach out with green, gnarled woody fingers, but barred by the green railing. (The one which, up till recently still said WET PAINT.)
Abruptly, a dog barked from somewhere far away...
I really didn't make this passage up.
This kind of rainy weather is foreign to me. For some reason, it makes me feel like I'm back in London again. Perhaps because of the grey sky. Not to say it isn't nice - not the rain, though, it's the after-the-rain, puddles-dried-up, windy, cold weather that I really love. I only like the rain when I'm indoors, preferably the classroom; I love the musical symphony of the raindrops going tup-tup-tup against the window panes. It's like people outside tapping on the door, wordlessly asking,
"Hello, hello can I come in?"
(:
Then I'll scrutinize the classroom and the first thing I see is Mish in all sorts of weird positions (sometimes grotesque, sometimes casual) as she sleeps. X)
..Oh well. You can't have poetry in every moment of your life.
Speaking of which, I'll sorely miss Jess the cute fair pokable one and Mish the bad taste sleepy spastic one. Term 3 was spent in high amusement with both of you as my seatmates...coupled with the laughing one in front and the pms-y one and the nutso one at the back.
Two meetings this week, one trip to the bus interchange and then TEACHER'S DAY. Whoo. I need a break.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:29 PM
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Control. Stay cool. Don't yell. Don't shout. Don't even look. Keep your emotions to yourself. Don't be bothered. Bite your tongue. Relax. Pretend indifference.
And whatever you do, smile.
Don't let him know of your hurt resentment anger fury indignation antagonism rage temper annoyance agitation displeasure outrage and ruffled feathers.
In this game, there can only be losers. It's just who goes home with the deeper injuries, that's all.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:41 PM
I kept thinking, y'know, that you won't do such a thing. After all, I knew you, and I knew you aren't that sort of person who would....do it. I was so sure, safe in my knowledge of you that you wouldn't do it, that you won't even think about it....So sure, so assured, that knowledge never fails, data never fails, intuition never fails.
Guess one person can only know that much of a person.
I failed to take in account that you would grow up, that you would change, that everyone would change, that the world keeps on rotating regardless of how much you want it to stop. (We don't have that kind of power.)
But these days, you really shocked me! Or astounded me. Your actions are so unlike you but somehow I suppose they are...not for the better, perhaps, but you are still you in the end. From the start, when I've known you, you've - really, really changed so much. (: Overall for the better, I guess. Keep growing, keep changing, keep trying to surprise me.
..Like I said, no prelude, no beginning, no end. Just...the middle of the plot. It's okay if you don't understand everything, somehow, along the way, you'd adjust.
Just like what I've always been trying to do. Adjust.
I really got a shock last night though! D:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 10:39 AM
Friday, August 24, 2007
One step up from strangers are accquaintances.
One step up from accquaintances are friends.
One step up from friends are buddies.
One step up from buddies are good friends.
One step up from good friends are confidantes.
One step up from confidantes are best friends.
One step up from best friends are trusted friends.
One step up from trusted friends are friends who are just like family.
Let down, let in, let out, let up
But don't don't don't let go.
I know it's hard, I know it's painful;
But one day you'll see why you need to hold on.
Hold on.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:13 PM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
1. Ever been given an engagement ring?
Ring, yes. Can it be considered an engagement ring?? o.O
2.Last gift you received?
(I'm assuming it's an object...) Can't remember.
3.Ever dropped a cellphone?
Who hasn't?
4.When's the last time you worked out?
Last....eclipse.
5.Things you spend a lot of money on?
Random, weird, funny on-a-whim stuff. Oh, and presents.
6.Last food you ate?
Sour sour oranges that makes you make all sorts of weird faces when you eat them.
7.First thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Oh...he's a boy.
8.One favourite song?
Lalala.
9.High school you attended?
RGS
10.Cell phone service provider?
Can't be bothered.
11.Favourite mall?
Don't have one.
12.Longest job you had?
Student. (Only, y'know, they don't pay you to do homework.)
13.Do you own a pair of dice?
Yeah, and mice and ice and rice and lice too.
14.Do you prank call people?
In my dreams.
15.Last wedding you attended?
My father's cousin's wedding.
16.First friend you called if you won the lottery?
"HEY HEY GUESS WHAT SARAH I WIN THE LOTTERY!!" "..It's won, not win, dear."
17.Favourite fast food restaurant?
Depends on my mood. And discount coupons.
18.Biggest lie you ever heard?
Can't pick my favourite one.
19.Where's your favourite place to eat with friends?
What matters is company.
20.Can you cook?
To survive.
21.Best kisser?
Hahahaha. A dog named Church.
22.Last time you cried?
Not answering.
23.Most disliked food?
Sour oranges.
24.What do you like most about yourself?
My friends.
25.Thing you dislike most about yourself?
Hmmm....
26.Longest shift you worked in your life?
Still working it now.
27.Favourite movie?
Depends.
28.Can you sing?
"In a deep, throaty voice like a dog just before it threw up." (This came from the bulletin board.)
29.One thing you never leave your house without?
Brain.
30.Last concert you attended?
Does POTO count?
31.Last movie you rented?
I don't rent movies.
32.Favourite vacation spot?
My bed.
33.Laptop or desktop computer?
Does it matter? It's still a computer.
34.Favourite comedian?
Got a few, all my friends.
35.Do you smoke?
From where?
36.Sleep with or without clothes?
With.
37.Who sleeps with you every night?
This little girl who smiles and mumbles in her sleep...
38.Do long distance relationships work?
I miss my computer dearly at school..
39.Pancakes or french toast?
BOTH.
40.Do you like coffee?
It's hard not to like it...it has a very strong and addictive personality.
41.How do you like your eggs?
Semi-raw, and mixed with white rice.
42.Do you believe in astrology?
Not a single word. (Amusing, though.)
43.Last person you talked to on the phone?
(Which phone...?) Home: Mother. Handphone: Nancy.
44.Last person on your missed call list?
Nancy. I don't usually answer phone calls on my hp...
45.What was the last text message you received?
JX: I am wearing a meritocratic towel.
47.What are you wearing right now?
Dress.
48.Pick a lyric:
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way...
49.What kind of jelly would you like on your PB & J?
Grape.
50.Can you play pool?
Almost as good as JX. (I'm another hummingbird. o.O)
51.Can you swim?
Mm...
52.Favourite ice cream?
Chocolate.
53.Do you like maps?
Treasure maps.
54.Tell me a random fact about yourself:
I like treasure maps.
55.Ever attended a theme party?
Halloween.
56.What is your favourite season?
Wind-ly cold.
57.Last time you laughed at something stupid?
Ah...everyday's a stupid day.
58.What time did you wake up this morning?
5.40 am
59.Best thing about winter?
Snow.
60.Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
"Can't make it for the concert...seeing that you look like a nice, law-abiding kid, I'm giving you my ticket."
61.Name of your first pet?
Lily. Who is nowhere to be seen.
62.Do you think pirates are cool or overated?
Cool.
63.What are you doing this weekend?
Eating sour oranges.
64.What do you want to be?
A person who doesn't eat sour oranges.
65.Are you on a laptop?
Yeah...who asked it to hang up on me.
66.Are you smiling?
Do I look like I'm smiling?
67.Do you miss someone right now?
All the time.
68.If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
My bed.
69.Are you in high school?
I think so.
70.Do you have a crush?
I crushed several ants today...
71.What's your favourite name?
Rayne.
72.What colour is your bathing suit?
Navy blue.
73.Does your school start in August?
I wish.
74.Did you go on a vacation last month?
No...
75.Have you ever been on a cruise?
Several times.
76.Do you have a sister?
She's as good as one. Only we don't fight often.
-------------------------------------------------------------RED IS ANGER
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
No
2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
Hmm....
3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
Pen. Pencil. Book.
4. Is anyone mad at you?
Hope not.
5. Are you usually mad?
Crazy...maybe a little.
6. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
Neither.
ORANGE IS EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you?
Nope.
2. What event is coming up that you're most excited about?
Teacher's Day.
3. If you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought?
I need my sleep!
4. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
It's not a question of what you could have...it's what you COULD NOT have...which will be homework.
YELLOW IS SELF DISCOVERY
1. Name
Rayne
2. Birthday
Check it up yourself.
3. What's your main goal in life?
Living it.
4. Do you want to have children?
Yes.
5. When do you want to die?
Whenever you please...
GREEN IS OPINIONS
1. Are you against gay marriage?
No.
2. Lower the drinking age?
No.
3. Capital Punishment?
Philo...No.
4. Abortion?
Philo..No.
BLUE IS LOVE
1. Do you love someone?
Always.
2. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Maybe. Possibly. Probably.
3. Do you believe in love?
Define.
PURPLE IS Q & As
Q: How many beds did you lie in today?
One.
Q: What colour shirt are you wearing?
DRESS.
Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
HOMEWORK.
Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
Nada.
Q: Look to your left. What's there?
Air.
Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed?
Mish's chinese shirt.
Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
Gmail...
Q: Do you have plants in your room?
I'd love to...but no one has ever bought me one.
Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Head.
Q: Recent time you were really upset?
Don't want to remember.
PINK IS LAST
1. Person you saw
Mom.
3. Movie you watched in cinema
(no qn 2) Uh....I can't remember.
4. Song you listened to
Two in a Million.
5. Person you talked to on the phone
Deja vu. (Didn't I already answer this somewhere...?)
6. Did you notice that the question 2 was gone
Unless you can't count.
GREY IS TODAY
1. What are you doing right now?
HOMEWORK.
2. What are you doing tonight?
Sleeping.
3. What are you going to eat?
Most likely breakfast the next morning...
BROWN IS TOMORROW
1. Which is also
Saturday.
2. Are you looking forward to it?
Sleep.....
3. Are you going to laugh?
Ah, no...
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:38 PM
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go
I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round
Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go
Where dreams were made; 8:14 PM
Numb, numb, numbness.
I'm not going to tell you the prelude, the beginning, nor the end.
Just take it at this face value. You don't exactly need to look into my heart.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:17 PM
Monday, August 20, 2007
..You always struggle frantically to keep yourself from drowning...when if you'd just relax, you'd find out that you float.
Yes, but the only way to get to that point is to keep struggling with all your might...until you can't struggle anymore...
That's a really nice way of putting it.
In any case Mish yells "POST!" so I shall.
I was at the library just now and spotted this lady reading Fruit Basket #1, so I picked up Fruit Basket #12.
Woman: Ah...you can have this if you want. (referring to Fruit Basket #1) I've already read it anyway.
Me: No, it's okay.
Woman: You really should read it, it's quite a nice series.
Me: Oh, I've already read till volume 21!
Woman: Ahaha, so've I! I'm just waiting for the next book to come out...
(:
Some people are just so friendly.
Channel 5 has this new programme which I don't know the name is, it's about this queer boy who doesn't seem to be from this Earth. It's quite interesting, it provides another point of view to our daily lives.
Why do you want to kill the rats?
Well...that's because I don't want them in my home.
...So you kill anything that you don't want in your home?
Uh...yes, that's correct.
Fascinating. Somehow it reminds me of A.I., but only....A.I. is just so sad. It's one of the few movies that really stuck in my mind even until today.
There are many things I want to say, but they won't come out. They're settled at the bottom of my heart, and no prodding nor prying would dislodge them. It feels kinda funny, not being able to express what you want to say. D:
(Or maybe my brain's cautioning me against posting them on a blog for everyone to see. It is, of course, highly impractical.)
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 1:37 PM
Sunday, August 19, 2007
eeeeeeee
i hate your picture!!!
why?
it
's so
eeeeee
I don't like yours either
haha
ahhha
what's "eeeee"?
mine is cute1
!
it's so not.
it's spastic.
it looks like YOU.
"eeeeeee" is your picture
you didn't need to say that
i burst out laughing
the kind
define "eeeeeeeee".
of laugh
where
there's no sound
except the occasional loud intake of reath
ah.
I see.
define "eeee"!
I still don't understand.
your picture
and you're the only one who doesn't like my picture!
ahahaha.
I don't exactly don't like it per se..
it just looks a lot like you.
only with no braces.
and horns.
huh
no braces and horns?
OH MAN I was just reminded of mr g's horns. XD
so you don't like it cos it looks like me
no it's not that.
who's mr g and why does he have horns?
oO
mr g's my teacher.
SOPHIA<3 CHARMAINE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR MSN I CAN"T TALK TO YOU says:
is your dp you?
who?!
Sometimes when he talks he musses up his hair and it sticks up.
mr g!!
I'll tell you in school.
okay anw
what about my nice sheep
SPASTIC.
it so looks like you.
NO!
IT DOESN'T!
yes it does.
spaaaastic.
no!
yes!
it looks like _________!
WHAT.
O.O
itDOES
SO does
LOL.
ohmygosh.
ohmygosh.
ohmygosh.
IT DOES NOT.
it looks more like you than it does ___.
ahahhahahahhahahahhaa
you made me choke!
it looks more like her!
she always puts that expression on!
i don't!
she does not!!!!!
and she tilts her head weirdly too!
she DOES!
she DOESN'T!
she doesn't tilt her head!!!
she does
she always does
when she's talkign
she doesn't.
she'll have a weird exprtession
and tilt a bit
but she doesn't when she's SMILING!
marginalluy
marginalluy. O.O
but she's always smiling!
as in
noooooooo she doesn't!
she doesn't doesn't doesn't.
always having lips parted like that sheep!
:O
your response made me erupt aagain
loll
what response?!
I just went: :O
omg I just realised the sheep has braces.
IT LOOKS MORE LIKE YOU THAN IT DOES ____.
DIAO
YOU ARE THE SLOWEST PERSON EVER
sorry!!!!!!!!!!
O.<
the teeth are human teeth though
sheep teeth are very disgusting one
yeeehahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
It still looks like you more.
Where dreams were made; 2:28 PM
Saturday, August 18, 2007
There were small ones, big ones, fizzing ones, whizzing ones, hissing ones, spiralling ones, break-into-light-then-stars ones, scattering ones, silent ones, noisy ones ------
Pretty, pretty, pretty. (:
And Cheryl Koh says that they cause air pollution but trust me, you won't want to miss this for the world.
Aaaaah fifteen minutes of fireworks, and they fade off into glitter.
Speech Day GOH is finally finally over. The final rehearsal was quite fun, I saw people I knew among the prize winners like Gloria who gave me that smile of hers and DORA who grinned then stuck her tongue out at me. o.O She made me laugh even though I was supposed to be saluting! Only she didn't do it during the real one so it was okay.
Apparently hugging people relieve stress both for them and you, so hug people more. Especially now when there are raised hopes, disappointments and the overall crushed dreams of everyone around.
Don't ever, ever lose your way.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 2:19 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Cabba cabba feedeedeedeedeedee tututuv www.nonmom.com is sproce. I like eeyore. Do u have a cold? Bless u. Lalala. no more smses from me.
Me: ...Is that site real?
G: Hahaha what do you think?
Me: ......
G: Yeah it's REAL. It's this anti-mom site. I'm trying to turn you against your mom.
------------------
I was actually supposed to come into this world later. Apparently Uncle Eddie jokingly said that if I was born on his birthday, he will buy me a present every single year. Then another colleague came along and remarked that if I was born on 19 September (my due date), I will be a Ghost Month baby. That was it. The baby-me got so fed up that I had to be born on 16 September.
Hmmm. Food for thought. The last part is quite interesting. Ghost Month baby....
A few days ago I suddenly realised that it was the Ghost Month already. Amazing how occasions creep up upon you without a word of warning. One day the grass was plain, and when I came back white papers were scattered everywhere for the offerings, and two white flags flapped in the wind where they had been thrusted through some food. I used to dread this period of time. Somehow my over-fertile imagination conjured up signs of - well, I'm sure you know. Didn't help that I was a scaredy-cat. This year I'm fine. Somehow my fears have become more...mortal.
Methinks that my soul has inertia.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 5:10 PM
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I have a numb thumb today.
It happened somewhere during Aesthetics. I was cutting away at the transparency when suddenly my thumb lost all feeling. It was like pressing the penknife on a flesh-coloured mini pillow, only that I knew it was my THUMB. It's that same feeling you get in your legs if you sit for too long before you get pins and needles.
I was thinking about a book I read, where the woman's pinky went stiff and she didn't really care, only to find out later that it was something more sinister than she thought...it was a really interesting episode. I hope this numbness will wear off soon, it hinders everything I do.
I've fallen all over in love with old songs again. Last time it was the Carpenters - partly because I was moved by what happened to Karen...seeing her progress from a normal person to a gaunt one was saddening. Now it's Abba, which I've not touched since 3 years back because someone whose opinion I hold to high regard to had disdain for that group, which I was interested in.
Reminds me of a set of lyrics Sarah posted, I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield: Anyone who can touch you can hurt you or heal you/anyone who can reach you and love you or leave you.
Funny how we're often put down by things that seem so insignificant to the other.
In any case, I'm taking my time to run through their list of songs and savour them. They lack the dreamy quality of Karen - in any case, I don't think anyone can surpass her; she is amazing. But Abba has their own personality also, and their songs are quite nice.
I'm trying to reclaim some of my old memories which are tossed to the winds - sometimes something comes back to me in shattered order, I find my old personality which doesn't suit me anymore. It's like finding your favourite dress only to find that you've out-grown it. Everybody has to grow up sometimes but this transformation is too abrupt.
Headache-y. The numbness doesn't seem to be wearing off.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 5:04 PM
Saturday, August 11, 2007
"Tell her," he said haltingly, staring into the distance, "tell her that even though it seems like I'm never there for her, tell her that I love her very much, and that I will always, always love her, whether in this life or the next."
Sarah Sarah Sarah where are you? Where did you go, where are you now?
"AND I HAVE A PARANOIA WITH BEING LATE. D: Whenever the clock hits 9 I'll be panicking if I haven't finished whatever I did, but luckily it's being cured by getting more frequent late nights. And if I am not at least 5min early for whatever appointment I'll get bloody stressed and pissed. And sometimes I turn up half an hour early, somewhat on purpose. I'm crazy. :D"
------Mish.
Yay! I agree with you Mish!! I can't stand being late for anything. I allocate in at least 5 minutes for "in case" purposes AND still leave the house early despite my allocation. XD
And yes Michelle Qiu Ke Yi is crazy! I agree whole-heartedly too.
The nice thing about Mish is that she updates every single day, and not just one post; TWO OR MORE posts. (: So when I'm bored I just need to go to her blog and ta-daaa! there are more weird things about her to read. And she reads tags pretty regularly too so I can have an active convo with her on her tagboard. X)
Some people ought to follow her example and post more regularly too. >_> You know who you are.
Now if you'll just come online more regularly I'll be happier. :D
I'm reading this manga and it's so cute! Shi Cheng would most likely start saying that I'm such a ___ fan (I'm not) etc, but it is really really funny. And it's one of those mangas that he doesn't like; he only likes Naruto...which I don't really like. ;p Oh well.
I've exhausted most of my thinking power for today so I can't exactly dredge up what I think about something, even though I've been wanting to post it for quite some time but never really found the opportunity to. Why do I get the impression that my brain's some sort of oozing mud pie? (Oooh I suddenly want to have a mud pie fight.)
Yes so basically I am rather muddled; I just told my mom to hand me the windows and open the curry - I meant hand me the curry and open the windows --- YES Mish I'm having curry again!! It's yesterday's leftover curry.
The good thing about typing is that you can omit any embarassing thing that your fingers accidentally type out.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 7:51 PM
I used to say no promises,
Let's keep it simple
But freedom only helps you say
Good-bye
It took a while for me to learn
That nothin' comes for free
The price I've paid is high enough for me....
Am I moving on yet? People are telling me, encouraging me to go, to run, to fly, but my feet won't move. You have no idea how afraid I am of falling, that my wings won't sustain me...Always, always you've been acting as my parachute, my wings, allowing me to fly, but you aren't there anymore.
You see, the flower wilts, it dies, and it gets reborn again. It's a neverending cycle of discovery. But I want to break out, scratch out that circle in the sand, let the waves smooth the scarred shore again.
I know I've wasted too much time
I know I ask perfection of
A quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think that's
What I'll find
Mish got me thinking...actually my blog topics are also quite limited. >< Ahh. Anyway...
Mish, dear, if I'm gonna tell you how to finish that killing game, you gotta give me something back in return. (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 5:08 PM
Friday, August 10, 2007
When I was sleeping my handphone buzzed and gave me quite a shock. (I put it under my pillow, see.)
And the SMS was:
I'M FINE. Stop worrying about people and worry about yourself instead!! Idiot.
Thanks for the advice. (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:10 PM
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart
The sun illuminated everything. Sunlight wormed itself into every nook and cranny 'till the shadows could take it no longer and chased them out of their private space. The world never looked so green, so wild, so alive before, or maybe it's just the sun.
And I felt like the sun's all I need. That I didn't need sustenance; that I could just absorbed the sunlight into my skin....
...I once knew this sun-girl, you know. She lived one house away from me. She had pretty almond shaped eyes and dark hair. Somehow, her hair always had sun in it. Even indoors her hair manages to retain its sunstreaks. Sometimes I would go over to her house to play, and sometimes she would come over to mine as well. Most of the time we'll meet each other in the corridor, or sometimes I would water the plants and she would stand by my shoulder watching me with those dark, dark eyes.
We never did talk. I couldn't speak her language, and she couldn't speak mine. But all we needed is each other's presence. Strangely enough, I never felt a need to communicate with her…somewhere deep down, we were already connected.
My little, little sun-girl.
But she moved away while I'm still where I am. I've found another sun-girl, someone who brightens the entire place she is in. While my sun-girl isn't always there for me, whenever I see her, she never fails to make me happy.
Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Somebody is praying
Please let us come home to stay
We all know that light can never illuminate the path forever for us. But sometimes we fail to realize that we can just close our eyes and let our feet bring us wherever we want to go. That beauty need not be of the sun, but also of the rain, of the wild, wild bleak shadows that go unnoticed. Is it true that our shadows are always behind us? My shadow leads me wherever it pleases, whenever it pleases.
-But this post's about the sun, and all the people under it. I turn my face up and get lost in the boundless sky and the sparse clouds, and I get drunk in the shower of sunlight that filters through the gnarled branches of the trees. It gets extremely hot but I don't care. The sheer power was amazing, and all I could do was to bask in the aftermath of it.
When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone
I think I'm gonna get a heatstroke.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:08 PM
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Since Mish didn't post this on her blog, I'll post it here instead.
After the GOH rehearsal and we were dismissed, I went back up to class to change and encountered Mish and Jamie. I was undressing (taking off my blouse) and I caught Mish staring at me. (She was changing too.)
And she said, "Don't look at me with that seductive look!!"
o.O
Fyi, I was thinking, "Why the _____ is Mish looking at me?!"
Min Yee, don't say that it's sick. I didn't mean to imply anything sick. I just thought that it's kind of amusing, since I've never been said trying to seduce someone before.
Seductive look....ahahahahaha.
Oh dear, I'm getting that wistful longing feeling when I want something so much but can't get it.
---Mish's blog.
Mmhmm, I really understand what you mean.
Btw, you looked spastic when you were singing the national day songs. (Think jumping up and down like a hyper crazy bad-taste bunny)
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:49 PM
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Mish wants a geranium (if that's how it's spelled) for next year's Valentine's Day.
(Why a geranium?)
It's so funny to see your own reactions from another's point of view.
I'm not laughing.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:21 PM
Monday, August 06, 2007
No, people aren't like onions.
And even if they are, they are granite onions.
I wonder how many layers you can peel before you start to cry?
------------
Mish started hiccuping during geog exam, and we couldn't stop laughing. Even Miss Lim was grinning away. And she covered her mouth with her hands in this funny manner but still continued to hiccup. :D So cute!
JX told us about this person who kept hiccuping non-stop for 65 years. (Around there, I can't remember.) And I couldn't stop laughing because I could just imagine Mish hiccuping for 65 + years. She'll hiccup her way through during drills, hiccup through squealing at _________ (bad taste. And you wonder why I keep rejecting you? XD) and-
hiccuping her way through plates of curry chicken rice. Oh my.
O.O
Dora did something really funny during PE today as well. I suddenly realise that we have a lot of cute people in our class.
I'm taking Lemsip like sweets. Somehow they keep ending up dented.
And no, they are not nice to eat. :/
There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach.
Love this song, love what it makes me feel.
I think if I block out sufficient amounts of the world, I'll be tremendously happy.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 6:56 PM
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Eee. Pull me close, then push me further again.
Let's leave it this way, okay? I don't come into your world, and you don't come into mine. When our paths cross, we'll shake hands and walk opposite ways.
Somehow I feel like an intruder, someone who barged in always at the wrong time...someone who invades your private space. From this point on, I'll stand an arm's length away from you, 'kay? This way you don't hurt me, and I won't touch you either.
Happy Belated Friendship Day. (It was on Friday.) I'd give you this rose, but I'm scared of coming too close to you. Here, I'll put it on the table, and you can claim it when I've gone.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:58 PM
Mom: Byeeee! We're going!
Me: Okay.
Closes door. Hear Mom calling again. Few seconds later, doorbell rings.
Mom: Haha! Forgot to take out the shopping list from my shorts pocket! ^^;
Me: .... --> Grumpy; I've caught the flu.
Mom: Remember to lock the gate!
Me: *grumbles incoherently*
Closes door. Hear Mom calling, "Waaait!" Opens door.
Mom: I forgot to take my white cardi!!
Me: >_>
Mom: ^^
Me: Your type of person....
Mom: Probably doesn't exist on this earth anymore, right? =D
Closes door. Few minutes later, phone rings.
Mom: Tell ____ to take down the chicken! I forgot to tell her!
Me: =_=
My mom....X) Amazing. She's like the younger sis I never had.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 11:12 AM
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Wong Sze Min (irritatingly likes to be known as Rayne)- :) It's that simple. If that candle upon your table flickers out, destroy it and get a fluorescent bulb. If you let anything ride over you, you may get run down. I wouldn't like that.. imagine the MRT train just going on and on and dragging your empty carcass along with it. Don't let it happen, grab a convenient superman and stick him in front of you.
Took it from Min Yee's blog. (Thank you, Min Yee.)
My flame has flickered out before, but I've always lit it up again. Sometimes I can't find the matches or the lighter in the dark, and that's when Sarah/Vivienne/Swetha comes along with a lantern. There was once when it was a major blackout and all three of them came with lanterns and helped me find the matches.
Ever wondered why I'm so scared of the dark?
But this time...this time, I'm gonna find the matches on my own. (: Not because they aren't there anymore to help me, but they have their own candles to light up, too. Maybe when the candle light flickers out I'll just take out the spare matches in my pocket and light it up.
Don't know, Min Yee, but fluorescent bulbs are a bit..too harsh? :/
Rayne (I don't find it very irritating. XD)
Where dreams were made; 11:24 AM
There are thirty-two names for love in one of the Eskimo languages. What a shame it is, indeed, to say that I love you when I love someone else more.
But then again, magnitude doesn't really matter, does it? As long as you get the feeling - but if I said that I love ____ more than I love you, then won't you feel like you'll never ever be my best? My first and foremost priority, the one I look to everytime I know you're near?
Yes, I know I've been revolving around this topic for so, so long, but it just gets more interesting everytime. (: Am sure Sarah will agree with me.
Two eleven's blog's up!! Amazing!! Thanks so much Talia. ^^
Can you sense it if someone's watching you? You know how they always depicted it in the shows/movies...the protagonist always seem to know whether there's someone watching them or not. I wonder how the feeling's like...do you get this burning sensation at your back or a cold chill down your spine or when you go on stage and feel five hundred pairs of eyes staring at every movement you make? (Only that now there's probably only one pair of eyes.) Yesterday I was just staring in Cheryl Koh's direction, and she actually turned to look at me. I wonder how she notices...it's really amazing how people can feel the gaze of someone on them...I can't feel anything!! D:
But apparently I have a sensitive nose. I don't know if that's good or bad. ^^
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIQI!!!
Much <33 and smile always!! This day was MADE for you. (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 10:36 AM
Friday, August 03, 2007
I was thinking up of weird things to represent my friends, but somehow the objects are (weirdly) connected to them in some ways. :/ You don't want to know.
Anyway, today I woke and wondered which flower represented who? And so far I've thought of a flower for Nancy, Gracey, Vivienne and JX...I can't find the perfect flower for Sarah!!! Haven't thought about Swetha and Muni yet.
Nancy - rose (Marechal niel variety). Yes, I know the rose symbolism is very cliched but Nancy is anything but cliched. A rose is very very pretty and its petals are very velvety..(okay I know this part doesn't make sense.) But for all of its pretty appearances, a rose actually has many, many layers, so many that you cannot count. You think you've counted all of them, but there are so many more before you're at the heart of the rose... A rose has a very unique scent as well.
Gracey, I wasn't kidding when I said that your comment was an understatement..
I find the cream yellow of Marechal niel very very pleasing. Apparently it means something like Yours; heart and soul.
Gracey - sunflower. Isn't it self-explanatory? A sun-loving flower, it opens up and raises its face towards the sun only. When the sun hits the yellow petals, it is so dazzlingly beautiful..you can't be sad watching a field of sunflowers. (They are ABSOLUTELY beautiful.) They are practically visual therapy. (:
Meaning: Sunflower (large) - You are splendid; Arrogance. (It is SO not the last meaning.)
Vivienne: lily. Another self-explanatory? She is so pure, so beautifully graceful, slender and strong and everything I ever wanted to be. Simple and yet so, so beautiful. I am not kidding. The fragrance that the lily gives off is calming and soothing, sweet and not overly-cloying.
Lily (white): Purity, Modesty, Beauty, Sweetness.
JX: hibiscus. It is so loud and vibrant - perfect for showbiz. (: I love the red variety - maybe JX can stick it in her hair when she becomes an actress and have to act this bohemian scene. XD
The meaning really cracked me up: Delicate beauty. (JX?! o.O)
In shining groups, each stem a pearly ray,
Weird flecks of light within the shadowed wood,
They dwell aloof, a spotless sisterhood.
No Angelus, except the wild bird's lay,
Awakes these forest nuns; yet night and day
Their heads are bent, as if in prayerful mood.
A touch will mar their snow, and tempests rude
Defile; but in the mist fresh blossoms stray
From spirit-gardens just beyond our ken.
Each year we seek their virgin haunts, to look
Upon new loveliness, and watch again
Their shy devotions near the singing brook;
Then, mingling in the dizzy stir of men,
Forget the vows made in that cloistered nook.
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:18 PM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Time and time again. Oh, won't you please take time away.
My fringe is getting into my eyes and irritating them. I've rubbing them so hard I'm scared my eyeballs would fall out and roll all over the floor and I won't be able to find them (ROLL eyes. pun!!). I'm just waiting for Nancy to book me one day... But you'll give me prior notice first right..? :/
O dream how sweet, too sweet, too bitter-sweet,
Whose wakening should have been in Paradise,
Where souls brim-full of love abide and meet;
Where thirsting longing eyes
Watch the slow door
That opening, letting in, lets out no more.
Does it matter if we don't understand the meaning? Just letting it flow about us, serenading us like a calming melody, if you close your eyes I'm sure you can remember, you can see and understand what I'm getting at. Right...right?
I wish you'd reply. But in all it's just you and me, and when the line blurs with time I can't differentiate between the both of us, either. You, me, I, yours, mine - are we one? Are we the same being, the same person, having the same thoughts, emotions, love....
But-but we're seperate. Torn, but whole. Oh I can't understand, can't explain, but I know you're part of me; part of my soul? But you look at me with such empty eyes, it's hard to believe that I'm you, that you're me, that we are so alike...
I wish you'd reply. But there's a layer of glass between us, and no amount of Time's going to shatter it. For all you are you're just another object, another reflection, another person. Another me.
(No, don't take notice of this blog post. I'm rambling. (:)
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 9:37 PM
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Mish told me about this deviantart flashwork which is super super FREAKY. She was telling me in school and I got the shivers already. Today she told me that she uploaded the url onto her blog....
....so I curiously went to the site (eee!) and being the scaredy cat that I am didn't exactly look at the animation but just scrolled down and read the comments instead. At times I would scroll up to see the animation but I saw it just when the fairy was OPENING her _____!! so I got really scared and scrolled down...then I thought that the animation was over so I scrolled up again and saw the woods part that Mish said and I jumped when her hair blew in the wind...
Mish don't you dare laugh at me. I can't help it if I'm scared!!
Today's last period was pretty weird. We were laughing at the weirdest things in class and Mrs Mak felt that she was in a madhouse, which set us off again. It's the last period, the last period!Or else we'll be all stoned and which one would she rather like...?
For one day, just one day, I would like to keep silent. To not talk, to just listen and observe everything. For just one day I would like to not have eye contact, to see everybody and nobody, to not let anyone see me and understand.
For just one day, I would like to see him again. So that I can tell him that I'm sorry, that I was being a child, that I had pushed him away-
Seems like that that's all I've been doing. Pushing people away, defending myself to cover up for my feelings. Trusting people is so difficult. I just want to curl up in a box and let myself drift away on the sea, and sleep until
Until it reaches the end of the world.
Mmm yes how nice would that be. (:
Rayne
Where dreams were made; 4:10 PM
