When the stars have all gone out, you'll still be burning so bright.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Quiz to do. ((:

1. 4 names in your inbox?
Hmm...Talia Seet, [[the music of the night]] (lol), grace, Sarah Siaw

2. Your main ringtone?
Silent mode usually, but my ringtone's Dreamer which sounds really nice and fantasy-ish and reminds me of bubbles for some reason. ><

3. What did you do at 12 last night?
Sleep. I need more sleep!

4. Who was the last person u went out with? Where?
Just. XD With JX and Cheryl. We went to Far East for oyster mee sua. (<3)

5. The color of the tshirt you're wearing now?
School blouse?

6. The last thing you did before this?
Talked to Trina. On MSN.

7. Three of your everyday essentials?
Love, friends and family!!!

8. What colour is your room?
My bedroom or the room I am in now? My bedroom's a light blue-whitish colour, and the room I am in now, the study room, is pastel yellow...

9. How much money in your wallet now?
Can't be bothered to count.

10. How's life?
You just had to ask that?

11. Your favorite city?
Hmmm.....

12. What will you do next weekend?
Open house. ><

13. When was the last time you met your mom?
Early this morning when I went into her room to retrieve my toothbrush, considering meet as in seeing her.

14. Where is she now..?
At work.

15. When was the last time you talked to her?
Last night. T_T

16. Who is the last person that texted you?
Trina, with (hee) "YOU'RE CONSPIRING!!! Then next time when I talk he or she or you will be saying I'm dreaming about this!"

(Don't ask.)

17. Where did u have your dinner last night?
Home.

18. The last gift you've received?
Every single ounce of love that I feel from the people I love. ((:

19. Last thing you borrowed from your friend?
Can't remember...her math textbook?

20. How do you feel now?
Feel as in physical or emotional?

21. What do you order at McD?
Gotten sick of it. Mostly...erm...fishburgers?

22. The last time you felt so sad?
This question makes me want to build up my walls and hide inside. If it was someone whom I don't want to bare my soul to - which is almost everybody - I may just smile dismissively or ignore the question altogether. Like Gracey said, do you honestly want to know? Don't get to try to understand how I work, how I feel, 'cause I won't let you. 'Cause in the first place, you gotta try to make me trust you first.

23. What is your wish for tomorrow?
To..survive the day?

-----------Have you Ever...?

Played Spin the Bottle?: Haha. Yeah.

Toilet papered someone's house: No...

Played Poker with money: Does BlackJack count?

Gone swimming in a white T-shirt: Not sure.

Been tickled so hard you couldn't talk: Yes!!

Liked someone but never told them: Hee. Betcha my PEPS friends + Muni, Gracey, Sarah can answer this for me. XD

Went camping: Well..kinda.

Had a crush on your brother's friend: Don't have one. A brother, I mean.

Walk in the rain without an umbrella: Can't remember. :/

Told a joke that nobody thought was funny: All the corny and lame jokes that I told at the dining table are just received by "er.." stares from my parents. Hey, I thought those were funny okay!

Been in a talent show: Not that I can remember.

Started laughing at someone's bedtime: Erm..no?

Worn something your mom didn't appove of: Not really. My mom has good fashion taste. (:

Been to a nude beach: NO!

Drank jack daniels: Don't think so...

Cursed in a church: NOT IN A CHURCH.

Been called a slut for kissing someone: No.

Burnt yourself with a curling iron/straightner: Uh. No.

Wanted to be a police officer: Never crossed my mind.

Dumped someone: Can't comment.

Been hit on by someone too old: o_o

Wanted to be a model: Never dreamed of it.

Bought lottery tickets: Nopee.

Made out in a car: EH.

Cried during a movie: Haha. Not yet.

Wanted something you couldn't have: Don't get me started.

Had sex on the beach: What is wrong with this quiz?!

Had drink sex on the beach: See above answer.

Seen someone shoplift: No..

Hung up on someone: Accidental.

Yelled at your pet: Nah.

Bought a thong when the cashier was a guy: I DON'T BUY THONGS.

Tried to strip when drunk: This is ridiculous.

Gotten seasick: Nope.

Had a stalker: Haha. No!

Played a prank on somone that had them really scared: Memories of jumping out at my mom at night comes to mind.

Been embarassed by one of your family: Of course.

Felt bad about eating meat: Not really.

Protested: About what, precisely?

Been to an island: Living on one.

Been in love: I supose so.

Ate just because you were bored: Yes. Sometimes.

Looked at something everybody thought was ugly and said "aww": Who does that?

Screamed in a library: Course not.

Made out with a stranger: Excuse me.

Been Dumped: No comment.

Wished a part of you was different: Hmm...now lemme see...where did I put that list of regrets to, hmm?

Asked a guy to dance: >_>

Been asked out by a really hot guy: Noo..

Laughed so hard you cried: YESS!!!!

Went up to a complete stranger and started talking: Hahahaa. Yes!

Been sunburned: On my nose.

Kicked a guy in the nuts for being a pervert: So far, no.

Threw up in school: YEah. Had stomach flu. ><

Received an anonymous love letter: Never.

Had to wear something you hated: Not that I can remember....

Been to a luau: Nah.

Saw your ex and wanted to kick his ass: Don't have an ex. Didn't even have a boyfriend!

Cursed in front of your parents: ><

Been in a commerical on tv: Yeah right.

Watched a movie that made you miss your ex: DON'T HAVE AN EX.

Been out of the country: Yup!

Been honked at by some guy when you were walking down the sidewalk: I'll be very amused.

Won at pool: Never played.

Went to a party where you were the only sober one: Nah.

Went on a diet: No...

Been lost out to sea: In my sea of thoughts?

Tanned topless: Like I would!

Been attacked by seagulls: Do pelicans count?

Been searched in an airport: Nope.

Been on a plane: Yeah. Don't like planes, though.

Been pants-ed: whazzat?

Thrown a shoe at someone: ALMOST. XD

Broke someone's heart: No comment.

Sung in the shower: Plenty!

Bought something way too expensive: Mmhmm..

Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: My friends can testify to that.

Been walked in on when you were dressing: Eek! Yes.

Ran out of a movie theatre because you were too scared of the movie: No.

Been kicked out of the mall: Haha. No.

Been mean to someone then instantly wanted to take it back: Unfortunately. Sometimes I'm just too rash.

Been given a detention on the worst day that you could get one: Not gotten a personal booking this year yet. Whoo!

Done something stupid when you were drunk: Not that I can remember that I was drunk.

Fell off your roof: Nup.

Pretended you were scared so you could cuddle up with someone: I cuddle when I feel like cuddle. No need for pretence.

Had a deer jump in front of your car: Haha no!

Threatened someone with a water gun: Nah.

Can you....

Unwrap a starburst with your tongue: Whazzat?

Sing: I think so?

Open your eyes underwater: HURTS.

Eat whatever you want and not have to worry: Most of the time.

Ice skate: Haha. Not very well. XD

Sing in front of a crowd: I don't think so.

Whistle: Sometimes!

Be a bitch at times: Maybe.

Do thirty pull ups: NO.

Walk in really high heels: Don't like high heels! I'm always scared 'bout spraining my ankle.

Eat super spicy foods: Not superly spicy.

Skateboard: Nope.

Sleep with the lights on: I can sleep through a movie! XD

Mulititask: Haha. Seems to be a requirement nowadays.

Touch your nose with your tongue: Nah.

Fall asleep easily in the car: Taking advantage of commuting time. Of course!

Do the cotton eye joe: Whazzat?

Play ddr and not fall: Never played. :(

Surf: Sounds fun, but no.

Fit in your locker: NO!!!

Do a split: Daren't dare try. ><

Taste the difference between pepsi and coke: Pepsi feels more artificial. All sugar. Coke has more flavours.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 5:33 PM

Friday, May 18, 2007

Links are updated! (: Or at least, the links that I can think of right now. ><

I had a close brush with possible death today. I was crossing the road when this motorcycle came. It was supposed to stop, but seeing a gap between me and the people in front, it missed me by scant inches and went along its merry way. If I had not stopped/had been reading a book/had not been watching out for that #$@%!!!! motorcycle I wonder where I would be now.

Okay, I shall not curse myself.

Today was a golden day. Literally. The ground was splattered with large splashes of gold. Everywhere reflected gold. The people who strolled about the school campus had gold and hazel brown highlights in their hair. It was as if the sun had decided to go on a colour frenzy and paint everything gold.

Sad that she couldn't reach into the shade.

Sometimes I wonder how Man invented the concept of Time. In one of my most perverse moments I thought that Man invented nanoseconds and seconds just to have the illusion that their lives might be longer.

And surely - if you can spend every single nanosecond fruitfully and do everything you ever wanted, surely it doesn't really matter how long you live.

The aquatic gastrotrich lives only three days. Three days to do everything that we want to do in a lifetime. All the love -can they feel?- anger sadness emo-ness despair happiness all compacted into three human days.

I can't even complete my project in three days. ><

Recently I've been really morbid. I've checked up Final Destination 1, 2 and 3 on wikipedia, listened to the five needles that pierced a victim's throat, read The Mephisto Club by Tess Gerritsen (SHE IS AWESOME) without batting an eye-

And now I'm reading all her creepy biological facts. Which, I may say, is very very cool.

Tess Gerritsen is by far the ONLY crime writer which I would actually actively buy her books. As a rule, I do not really like crime stories because - well, just because. But Tess Gerritsen...

One word: Whoa.

I wonder if I would colour all of my show and tell posters - I've only done one - bright blood red in my mood right now. Best not to try it.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 5:58 PM

Thursday, May 17, 2007

When he went blundering back to God,
His songs half written, his work half done,
Who knows what paths his bruised feet had trod,
What hills of peace or pain he won?

--------------

Oh poor, sweet darling. You must be so terrified, so troubled, so bewildered right now. It's hard- I know, to balance everything on a scale that is so flimsy it doesn't even seem to exist. To look forward to the future, to seize the present, to hold on to the past. How many parts of each do we take? Do we have actual faith in ourselves, if not in God? Or is everything based on that outer mask that we present to the world?

Here you've presented me with all these questions, and there's nothing I can say. In the middle of our present material lives there's so much to consider. What's best for us, for others we love, the emotional dilemmas are all wrapped up into days that seem to change so alarmingly along with your feelings. We can love, cry, laugh, joke, despair all in a day. Or better still - we can conceal bad feelings and comfort those who can't. To be pillars of strength....of love and comfort and so many good things to counter the bad.

Supposedly it's all in the process of growing up? Yet I can remember a time when I could throw tantrums, could ignore every single person in the whole world and focus on what I wanted, and how to get it. But I suppose that time is over now. Always live in the present - is that it? How much of the past do you want to retain?

Resignation. Weariness. We can't fight against change - I have been doing so for the past two years. We have to make the best out of it. Coz in times of chaos then do we know what holds strong, and what is truly dear.

Are you, or are you not a child of God? Stand up. Stand up proud and strong, and fight for what you believe in.

Dearest, you know you'll always have my support. In whatever you do.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 6:55 PM

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Blogger just erased my beautiful post, so...

I've learnt
To listen to the wind
And the stars
For guidance.

I've learnt
To give assurance
To comfort others
When they cry.

I've learnt
To stand alone
And smile even though
I'm crying inside.

I've learnt
That words are masked
And dripped in poison
And people are no exception.

I've learnt
To find happiness and
Love in simple things
(Thanks to someone)

And most of all

I've learnt

To love and

Trust completely

With my heart.

It'll be such a pity if the people mentioned in this passage are oblivious to the good references about them.

But then again, I daresay they already know.

And even if they didn't....

Well, too bad then. (ha ha.)

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 6:26 PM

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

DON'T. JUST DON'T. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING CLOSE BECAUSE I WILL NOT, NEVER IN MY LIFETIME, LET YOU GET CLOSE TO ME.

Some people are just more POISONOUS than the rest.

And some people are just more OBNOXIOUS than the rest.

DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE I HAD LIKED AND ADMIRED YOU ONCE MEANS THAT I WOULD DO SO AGAIN. IF YOU DO THINK SO YOU HAVEN'T KNOWN ME FOR WHO I AM.

There's a limit to what I can stand. And, for your information, being able to STAND someone does not mean that I LIKE that someone.

I am not hypocritical. I am not, however, with a EQ of zero. So just because I don't say anything does not mean that you can just do whatever you want with me.

EXCUSE ME, BUT IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

Haven't you hurt me enough already?

Get out. Get out of my life and NEVER COME BACK.

Where dreams were made; 9:08 PM

I s'pose it's only fair to let you know -

I'm not who you think I am anymore. And that you can never get that person whom you thought of as a friend back. Perhaps you still harbour that false hope; I would never know. But I would still like to be your friend if you'd let me. Maybe you'll like the new version of me better than the last.

I wished I'd taken more pictures. I wished I'd asked more questions, talked more. But being there and drinking in your presence, at that point of time, was enough for me. Going through a very familiar corridor with the same frames on the walls, the same piano, the same rooms - very nostalgic.

Thank you, Aeryn, Amber, Vinnya (even though you don't like your name) for everything. For me.

---------------

This is a beautiful poem. Very touching and reminds us that...we are, after all, only human.

May God follow you wherever you go.

Small Pain In My Chest
by Michael Mack

The soldier boy was sitting calmly underneath that tree.
As I approached it, I could see him beckoning to me.
The battle had been long and hard and lasted through the night
And scores of figures on the ground lay still by morning's light.

"I wonder if you'd help me, sir", he smiled as best he could.
"A sip of water on this morn would surely do me good.
We fought all day and fought all night with scarcely any rest -
A sip of water for I have a small pain in my chest."

As I looked at him, I could see the large stain on his shirt
All reddish-brown from his warm blood mixed in with Asian dirt.
"Not much", said he. "I count myself more lucky than the rest.
They're all gone while I just have a small pain in my chest."

"Must be fatigue", he weakly smiled. "I must be getting old.
I see the sun is shining bright and yet I'm feeling cold.
We climbed the hill, two hundred strong, but as we cleared the crest,
The night exploded and I felt this small pain in my chest."

"I looked around to get some aid - the only things I found
Were big, deep craters in the earth - bodies on the ground.
I kept on firing at them, sir. I tried to do my best,
But finally sat down with this small pain in my chest."

"I'm grateful, sir", he whispered, as I handed my canteen
And smiled a smile that was, I think, the brightest that I've seen.
"Seems silly that a man my size so full of vim and zest,
Could find himself defeated by a small pain in his chest."

"What would my wife be thinking of her man so strong and grown,
If she could see me sitting here, too weak to stand alone?
Could my mother have imagined, as she held me to her breast,
That I'd be sitting HERE one day with this pain in my chest?"

"Can it be getting dark so soon?" He winced up at the sun.
"It's growing dim and I thought that the day had just begun.
I think, before I travel on, I'll get a little rest ..........
And, quietly, the boy died from that small pain in his chest.

I don't recall what happened then. I think I must have cried;
I put my arms around him and I pulled him to my side
And, as I held him to me, I could feel our wounds were pressed
The large one in my heart against the small one in his chest.

Rayne

Where dreams were made; 8:53 PM